Poetry / Bittersweet Corn Dream

Last night baby

I dreamt the old dream of you

Your petite frame,cushined in mine

Your hair was wan ever-changing eazel

Red, pink, and white

Teal, black, and silver

The grass is coated with fresh dew

As are we, in the cornfield

Your breasts rise and fall as you breath

With me nibbling playfully on your neck

And I feel nails latch into my bak

Like a scared boy to his mother

And your pink skirt rises by itself,

as my hand slithers gently,

slowly up your slim thigh

My eyes turn up to see daybreak comming

And I fall face first into dirt

As you and the grass dissipate

While the sun

Rises over the field.

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Reviews

November 10, 2009

jalubcarrey

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
180	75.5% (94 votes)	29.2%

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Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
37	M	Muncie, IN	November 21

jalubcarrey reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

cushined – do you mean cushioned? I have two suggestions for getting over these grammatical errors. 1) if you use a word processor application (like MS Word) it shows you were you need to make corrections in grammar, spelling, etc. Interestingly, the Mozilla Firefox web browser also has a spell check feature, which I’m using right now. That will help you get over these little mistakes that you’re making through this piece as far as grammar.

The images are pretty good in this piece, but you need to really watch the grammar because sometimes I don’t understand intent.

These two lines are a little creepy: ”And I feel nails latch into my bak
Like a scared boy to his mother” Think about the context here. It doesn’t sound right.