Poetry / You Are Like

This is too short!  I was just getting into it, and it is all over and done! (I hate sappy love poems, by the way, so you pass on that.)

There were a few places where word choice kind of stuttered.  At “To find the words to garland you”, I found the word “the” to be intrusive--I rather like this line as “To find words to garland you”--it is sweeter, somehow.  At “Are all the metaphors ever”, the thought seems incomplete, as though there is a word missing after “ever”.

Where I felt the stuttering the worst was in the last line.  You have the moon and the stars--both celestial--and then, all of a sudden, you have form.  I read that, and all the types of forms went through my mind—forms (paperwork), forms (school levels), forms (cement work), forms (rectangles, triangles, circles).  I think a celestial reference to close this out would be much easier on the brain.

My last comment is that the line “And darling neither do I” needs internal punctuation for a quality presentation.  I would restructure this as “And, darling, neither do I” for a better flow.

Very nice.