Poetry / Falicy Me PLEASE READ
So this is how its gonna be
all day in and out of sleep
dont have a job
nothing to do
promises ive made become untrue
stay awake all night
with second sight
vacuuming by moonlight
try and deny that i cant see
darkness has enveloped me
you tell me all that i do wrong
fears within myself still strong
lights i cannot see
still bother me
when i walk into trees
my life it comes and goes so fast
dreams from long ago have passed
i hear the roosters crow at dawn
drifting off ive been so wrong
falicy is me
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I like the concept, great wording, but to me it feels like you’re forcing it out, like it HAS to ryhme, which is most ryhming poems. I think you should ignore that urge, that that’s somehing you have to do, I’d like to see how that’s come out. Free yourself from restrictions, it only hurts your expression.
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March 13, 2006
Deleted User
interesting….....you wrote very well, i think was this piece written for like i mean did you write this was this an emotion for hating your life? and it being difficult, boring, and other wise useless? i hope i understood this right um….what else i think how you put into words “try and deny that i can’t see darkness has enveloped me you tell me all that i do wrong fears within myself still strong” i like that part alot…..great writing good luck and good job
~Jace
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