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Poetry / Dug

Damned for sure
Too late
Can’t believe
Anymore

The moon invited last night
Proposed my destiny to answer
Cold in silence
Dawn exposed me all alone

Now I understand my affliction
Down is now up
Shoveling out words fast
As my buried thought allows

Under the weight, I realize
It
Is fantastic
What the hell am I doing, typing this in the dark

Daylight
Open up the window
Sun burning bright
Time to check it all out

When I speak
In black and white
I won’t let them know
The moon didn’t show

It was dark and I was all alone
Must shovel
Especially the word doubt, doubt, doubt, there
Forget to care

Up is now down
The sun now a hole
Better fill it quickly
Someone may fall out

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Reviews

April 05, 2006

creative_eve

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
132	91.1% (45 votes)	25.4%

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
40	F	North Hollywood, CA	February 27

creative_eve reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

The poem has interesting parts, however I find at places it is difficult to read. I understand it is a free verse format I just wish it reads its flow was less choppy. ”Shoveling out words fast As my buried thought allows” is my favorite part of this poem. I think it has potential to be a better writing with some revisions.