right now it’s just a working title. and while it is a stone’s song, and i could debate it as being one of their best, i’m lost for something else to call it. aside from which, it rather aptly names what i’m doing. creating sympathy for the devil. but if you have other title sugestions, i’m open to hearing them. and any parts that didn’t work for you.
Novel Treatments / Sympathy for the Devil (working title) Prologue
PROLOGUE: Meet and Greet
“In the beginning darkness, silence, nothing. Eternity stretched out its cold, perfect void before us, and we ruled. We did not know evil, we did not know good. Inchoate we floated in our own minds, yet knew each other and interacted therein. We grew, strengthened through our contact.
“For us, time meant nothing, and so we did not notice the subtle changes in our environment as time progressed. Then Light came violently into our beloved void, burning many of us in that first explosion. Tendrils spread through our darkness, disrupting our lives.
“And then it spoke saying, “I am.‿ The sound ripped through our solace, shattering we remaining few. The Light broke into many smaller spheres, reflecting Its brilliance and flooding our darkness. We never before made things, and while we were fascinated by the act, we fled before the light produced.
“Elohiem, relegated our precious black void to a simple dark place. He divided light from dark, we could not seem to stop him. We tried.
“Conflict seemed to be the answer, and so we raised ourselves up from our hiding places. We tried violently, vainly to win. But he seemed to be omnipotent. We could not understand his power which seemed vastly more than ours. So we tried to emulate him by creating refuges of shadow, as we had seen done with his light.
“We failed. Neither could we defeat him in battle. Many of us sought out the last vestiges of the original void. Huddling in these black holes where his light could not enter, we looked for ways to revenge ourselves on the usurper, the killer of the void.‿
**
So it was told to me. Some men would come to call these shadow dwellers gods, others demons, although most would never know of their existence.
None the less, they can still be found. Sometimes they even come looking for you. They found me one day, wandering my prison, and showed me what came before God and His light. I introduced them to you little brother, thinking you would have so much in common. I guess I have a matchmaker’s heart. But that, is another story for another time.
The story I want to tell, is my own. But first, let me ask you a question.
Have you ever heard the term, “necessary evil?‿ Of course you have. Did you understand it? It’s unfortunately misunderstood a great deal of the time, but it’s also a simple concept.
Don’t you believe me? I can understand why you wouldn’t. Hardly anyone believes anything I say.
Who am I? Call me what you will -- Satan, Lord of Lies, Prince of Darkness -- I still prefer my old name, Lucifer. Maybe it’s a bit old fashioned of me, or even stubborn, to want to stick with the name my Father gave me, but hey, I’m an old fashioned kind of guy.
What I want to do is tell you a story. My story, in my own words. Not the often embellished, white washed version of the story you’re probably familiar with. And certainly not the overly simplified version found in most books.
This is more real, more detailed in the places you probably got in trouble for asking about as a child. This is not a black and white accounting. Still, when I explain things to you, I hope you’ll understand the subtleties of my revelation. Or, at the very least, you’ll begin to see the shades of gray in the world you live in. Which brings us back to the original question. Have you ever heard the term necessary evil?
It’s a pretty self explanatory phrase. Evil is necessary. Without evil, good would have no meaning because there would be no basis for comparison. Compassion, love, and hope have relevance only when seen against the back drop of selfishness, hate and despair. Maybe a better example are heroes. Heroes are heroic because villains do vile things. What’s more, without villains, heroes would have nothing to do.
Now when I say hero, I’m not talking about the average Joe who runs into a burning building to save some old lady, or risks life and limb to rescue a kid caught in a rip tide. Firemen and lifeguards are heroic to be sure, but that’s their job. The assumption that since they save lives every day they go to work, they must be good people, is unfounded. They have foibles and dark secrets -- just like everyone -- overshadowed by their valiant deeds. How do you know they don’t use drugs, or like kiddie porn?
The problem is with your definition of hero. It’s backwards. You define heroes by their actions. I’m talking about the type of hero who is defined not by the deed, but by the motivation. These are the good guys, and completely different.
The old lady in the fire, or the kid in the rip tide are just unlucky. It’s a classic example of the wrong place at the wrong time. An act of God, some might call it. It’s wonderful when they are saved and reunited with their anxious families, but where is the good guy? He’s reliant on his motivation, not his paycheck.
If the old lady’s money grubbing child, in an attempt to get their inheritance, ties her to the bed and sets fire to her house, then she is a victim. And because she’s a victim, because there is a dastardly villain to defeat, her knight in dingy yellow rubber has a motivation other than his pocket. He is elevated from hero, to good guy when he saves her and then makes it possible to prosecute the conniving child. Until the match is lit, until the harm is intentional, there is no good guy.
Let me put it to you in a different way. Good guys differ from heroes because of intent. Good guys look at evil, maybe even try it on for size, see how it feels, but in the end they turn and walk away. They go through their daily life with their actions mindfully good. Intentionally good.
But, an heroic act is a one shot deal. More importantly, there is no intent. Most people who do something heroic say they didn’t think, they just acted. It’s a moment of glorious action sure, but the vast majority will go their whole lives without doing anything like it. Good guys are good every day of their lives, and they are good, because they intentionally and mindfully resist the silky charms of evil. See, necessary.
Well, that’s me, baby, Mr. Necessary.
And it seems to reason that if I’m the villain, the bad apple, my Father must be the good guy. I guess I’ll leave the final decision up to you.
Speaking of my Father -- most of you know Him as God -- I want to help correct a few misconceptions about Him. There’s a general consensus that all His work was, and continues to be, pure good, and that my work is purest evil. But that’s just not so.
I didn’t make earthquakes, or volcanoes, or tidal waves. I didn’t come up with the idea for drought, or famine, or disease. Insurance policies and news papers alike call these events acts of God, not acts of Satan.
And while we’re on the subject, there’s something else about your ideas on God.
A common notion seems to follow that, since God is absolute Light, I must be absolute Dark. He is my antithesis, or vice versa. It’s laughable.
God is my father, just as He is yours little brother. And just like you, He made me in His image. Albeit a different image. I am the son created of His absolute light, so how can I be absolute darkness? My name even means light.
Lucifer, Morning Star, Light Bringer, these are not names given to a creature of shadow.
Furthermore, if God is absolutely perfect, then how can I be imperfect? Again, God made me the way that I am. Surely there must be some part of me that retains that original perfection.
What I don’t think you realize is the battle between light and dark isn’t new, and it isn’t clear cut. Very rarely is anything -- let alone concepts like good and evil -- pure.
So, let me illuminate a few things for you. Think of me as your older, wiser, brother. I’m letting you in on all the “dirty‿ family secrets. Not the petty stuff, like Uncle Tom’s wandering eye, or Aunt Lilly’s penchant for drinking too much at holiday parties. This is deeper.
I know there are going to be hundreds of thousands who will read this and say, “More lies.‿ Such is my lot, I suppose. I just laugh, because truthfully, I gave humanity the greatest gift—greater than anything God ever gave you. I gave you freedom, little brother, and knowledge. That’s right, knowledge.
You really think God put that tree into the garden? Oh no, that was all me. My blood watered that seed, and it was my idea to give you the fruit.
I digress.
The saying goes, “History is written by the winner.‿ Although in my case, history was written third hand, by the winner’s children. You might think this is motivated by bitterness, but it isn’t. I swear. Many a psychiatrist has landed in my neck of the woods, so I’ve had therapy. I fully admit to loosing that battle, but it’s my turn. This is His-story, in my words.
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Jmorgan reviewed Version 1 -
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I would take out the quotation marks in the first two paragraphs as it’s not actually a character speaking.
I love the line, ” still prefer my old name, Lucifer. Maybe it’s a bit old fashioned of me, or even stubborn, to want to stick with the name my Father gave me, but hey, I’m an old fashioned kind of guy.” It so simple, and yet describes Lucifer so well in so few words, stubborn. I absolutly love this. Especially the bit on true heroics. The ideas in this prologue alone are astounding. I can’t wait to read more.
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Drake_Lightle reviewed Version 1 -
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I wouldn’t use a title that was a Rolling Stones song, especially not one of their most famous…it’s plagarism for one thing…and for another, it just sets the bar of expectation a little to high for you to ever be able to deliver.
Which is a real shame, that you shadow the brilliance of your words with this title. Because the message, the grayness…the essential need for the conflict of God and Beelzebub…the magnetic push between polar opposites…is essential. Once cannot exist without the other…one cannot be perceived without the other as a frame of reference, to define the boundaries of oneself.
We dwell in the gray…where light and darkness meet. This is simple truth, and it’s beautiful.
Your story telling method is good, you ease the reader through the explanation of the metaphor of good and evil, light and dark, pleasure and pain. It’s all well and good and important to understand. So nice effort, Satan.
From a gray face.
steej25 reviewed Version 1 -
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ldaunis reviewed Version 1 -
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Wow, there are a lot of amazing imagry here. I really like: “My blood watered that seed, and it was my idea to give you the fruit.”
I’m not all that keen on the question section beginning here: “Have you ever heard the term, “necessary evil?â€? Of course you have…” to “Hardly anyone believes anything I say.” The tone and writing are not as strong as I see in virtually every other part of your story. Asking the questions and then answering them with a statement that contains “you” puts me off a bit.
DirtyPablo711 reviewed Version 1 -
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Azulao reviewed Version 1 -
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The premise is very interesting, even unique to some extent. Religious themed stories have always been popular (DaVinci Code), but the standard fare always seems to be the age-old G vs E scenario.
Here you have decided to tackle an immense character in our popular culture, arguably the first and greatest antagonist of history; a daunting task by any measure.
I liked your opening very much I must say, perhaps even more than the rest of Lucifer’s candid confessions. I found myself intrigued by the thought of the devil attemting to clear his bad name, but once the philosphical babble started, I have to honestly say that I lost interest. It’s not that it was necessarly flawed or inappropriate, just that after reading your vivid opening, I was hoping for something more subtle from Lucifer than “hey gimme a chance here, I ain’t that bad you know!”
I guess what I’m questioning here is his motives for coming clean with us (presumably). Why does he feel compelled to defend himself at this moment? Who is he trying to convince? These are questions that deserve very specific answers if we are to entertain the confessions of the Prince of Lies.
I’m going to check out the rest of this story to see where it goes.
PS Excellent work, very promissing.
Ouroboro reviewed Version 1 -
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I rewrote the first intro – hope that wasn’t too presumptuous of me. If you find any of it useful go ahead and use it – I hope that it’s helpful.
Darkness, silence, nothing – eternity stretched out its cold, perfect void before us, and we ruled. We had no concept of good and evil. Inchoate we floated in our own awareness, yet knew each other and interacted therein. And thru our collective force we grew stronger.
For us time was nothing and we hardly noticed the subtle changes in our environment. Then Light came violently into our beloved void, burning us in that first explosion. Tendrils spread through our darkness, disrupting our tranquil existence.
Then the Light spoke saying, “I am� and the sound ripped through our solace, shattering the essence of our awareness. The Light broke into many smaller spheres, magnifying Its brilliance and flooding our nocturnal existence. We’d never thought to make such a thing, and while we were all fascinated by the act, we still fled from the brightness of His creation.
Elohiem relegated our precious black void to a simple dark place. He divided the light from the darkness and the finality of it was more than we could bear.
Our rebellion was simply a natural reaction to such an intrusion – what any conscious being in our position would have done. So we rose up from our relegated darkness. We tried violently to win, but it was all in vain. We couldn’t understand His power, which seemed vastly greater than ours. So we tried to emulate Him by creating refuges of shadow, as He had done with His radiance.
Our coup failed. We couldn’t defeat Him openly in battle, nor thru any of our more identifiable creations. Many of us sought out the last vestiges of the original void. Fleeing such purity we huddled together in shadowy holes where His light didn’t enter – as we continued to search for ways to revenge ourselves on the usurper, the killer of the void.
At first the omniscience tone of the subject grabbed my attention and then the mystique of the narration drew me in. It was a thrill to read – mysterious and omniscient. It made me think of Frederik Pohl’s ‘the World at the End of Time’, were he starts off with an ethereal consciousness named “Wan-To�. In your intro I could almost imagine what it might have been like before all this material came about.
Then Lucifer chimed in as narrator and spoke like a regular everyday person. The thrill of the story stopped abruptly and evolved into simple interest. Lucifer’s dialogue was interesting, no doubt, but that intro was a delight to read. I wished that the whole story could have continued with that mysterious narrator.
crayonmustache reviewed Version 1 -
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Hi firefey!
What a good read! Here is my take: In the beginning (there was the word? WHAt?? No.) of your prologue, you tell of a void, and then light. What was the source, what is light? Where does it come from? -Not the issue. However this is where I have a problem: when you talk of man, a product of light/life, comming of age on this lit world, you say the shadows can still be found here, after they were scattered/shattered away. I would propose using a doorway/portal/symbol (...letters are symbols too…. don’t you know???) to bring the Father of Flies here. Perhaps possess someone as if (Please Forgive me GOD!! Do not damm me for an eternity in all heck!!!), possessed in an opposite or similar way as Jesus (Who I love and is my Savior!!) was.
I think if there were planets in the void, they were all dead ones. In life there is pain. We feed off the living by killing it. No one (living) knows what Death is, perhaps before the Light all was peaceful, and when we return it will remain… I have ‘theories’ on my ways of viewing God, but later time. What I want to ask is do other planets (alien sinners??) consist in the battle of light and dark? Does ALL HECK (hell) have an address?
I am a big fan of Star Wars, and am reminded of the battle over the Force and the Dark Side, each powerful, one ruled by the power of FEAR, ANGER, HATE, SUFFERING, other LOVE, SERENITY, JOY, PEACE… perhaps you can draw on thier model but have the “Force” actually be a sentient bean (being).
There are about a million varied questions and comments, ideas and concepts, beliefs, etc. concerning this so you are kind of fighting your own battle with the reader, I think. From my perspective this is a hard subject to write about and you better have some good ammo and cakes to last us… to take to the grave as we spend life dying while we digest over your words – FOR ALL ETERNITY!!!
Thanks I enjoyed it!!
mewize reviewed Version 1 -
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This is good to the point of being a true work of art. I thought one line to be weak and that is-I guess I have a matchmaker’s heart- perhaps because of the indecisiveness. The use of the word Elohiem is a stroke of genius. I caught one sentence that ended with a preposition.\
more detailed in the places: is confusing. More detailed ‘than’: perhaps? This is a work of nearly perfect clarity dealing with the king of avarice, hatred, and darkness, and you do it in a crafty and sensitive way-rather than horrific and demanding. It is a quite ambitious work that makes sense to tell. Well done
Write on
Me
woundedspirit333 reviewed Version 1 -
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Wow what a fantastic idea! I don’t think I’ve ever even thought of thinking of that battle from the Devil’s perspective! That was amazing! I grew up in the church and all we ever thought about was God’s story. I guess I could understand why they wouldn’t change that around. It reminded me some of Anne Rice’s book Memnoch. She also writes from the Devils’ perspective and it was very interesting because of it. This piece really makes you think. Good job. I loved it. I like the title too and I’m looking forward to reading more of this kind of work from you.
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