Poetry / Grace
It is said the burden is light;
Not true.
It is said the way is clear;
Not true.
It is said death is dead;
Not true.
The yoke is crippling,
The way dimly lit, and
My end quite real.
But the grace that gets whispered in my ear
Eases,
Guides,
Abides.
It is enough,
Though it leaves me wanting more.
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I just finished critiquing your “They’re Just Words” when I saw this. There is a similarity of structure, especially in stanza 3, but also in the use of the triads throughout both poems. “Grace” makes excellent use of this format, which even elicits all the mysteries of the Trinity.
Here, like Jacob, the narrator argues with God. And like Job, he does not get any clear answer beyond the promise of grace. “Hey, you said!” “Trust me.” “But!” “Trust me.”
I appreciate that the three verbs chosen in stanza 3 answer the three arguments respectively.
As in “They’re Just Words,” the last stanza is striking, this time because of its self-contradiction. Such is the illogic of grace.
My only suggestion: consider changing the passive voice to active in stanza 1. “You said the burden is light” etc. Or is the narator too awestruck to confront God directly?
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I wish this poem had been fleshed out with more showing rather than just telling for it leaves the reader wanting more. Who says these things in S1 and why are they not true? It gives a flavor of perhaps one facing a terminal illness or is it that we all are mortal? And what is grace? What eases, guides and abides? If it is enough, then why want more? The poem seems unfinished or incomplete as it stands to me yet I feel there is more depth that has not been addressed.
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