Poetry / Don't shoot the messenger

the curd will form
the nasty taste of his mouth
what shit
verbal garbage
in a wish that will not happen
a dish too sweet to taste
with a face as beautiful as the sun
and a heart beating as a constant drum
what vanity…
as close minded as the open gate
of information that flows from the great..
take a look it is me..
take a look at the messenger..
truth escapes in little packets of lies
angels sharing lessons without words
talking is meaningless and feeling has no bearing
peace isn’t a choice
it isn’t a right
it is a passage
it is the message
some will get it
others will stop it
yet others will attempt to get it, but stop it all along
we can never give in
to dispairity
to hate
to haste
to insecurity
to stupidity
to ignorance
you know who I talk to…
read the words as if you can see me speak
speak to me…
open up your hearts and minds…
and the truth will flood
when you think that I am dumb
when you think that I can’t speak
when you think that I can’t feel
when you think that I can’t see
when you think that I am weak
when you think that I don’t bleed
when you think that I don’t believe
This is your choice…
This is what you choose to believe
Don’t question me..
because you are not willing to hear the answers
you are not willing to give me a chance
can’t you see the sarcasm in the message
can’t you see the sarcasm of the defintion
can’t you see that sarcasm makes you weak
can’t you see that sarcasm makes you bleek
if I didn’t care
I wouldn’t share
Don’t shoot the messenger
because there might be a missing peice
to this puzzle yet

Copyright Thom Penn © 2006
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED SPECIFICALLY FOR THE OWNER OF THIS WORK

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prettyeys avatar General Stranger

April 24, 2006

prettyeys

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prettyeys reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

okey, first you need to put the thoughts and words together better.  the different ideas in the story seemed to just be there, you need to acually be an artist and find how to put them together in a way that makes the reader want to read the story and want to hear more. and slso i didnt like when you kept saying “when you think that I” and “cant you see the sarcasm” over and over again. it got boreing after a while. i mean i understand it from your point of view, but look at it in mine
it is a good story keep working on it.

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thompenn avatar

thompenn

Age: 29
Loc: Amarillo, TX
Gen: M
Last Login: July 24
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