Poetry / lake louise (Analysis)

emerald blue is an interesting description, considering the context of the poem being a lake – I gather that the shade is that color water tends to trick us with between green and blue.  of course here, we’re in snow and the emerald blue would the be the tear drop.  I’m not sure the family reference and it could be my lack of skill or what not but I get a Capulet sense from the family reference that somehow, one is not good enough? I do not measure to know.

As for criticism, there are capital letters in place that do not need capitilization, I think it takes from a poem to randomly emphasis words that need none.

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November 05, 2008

by Ninjagoalie

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31	M	Canada	November 08

I agree about the random capitalization, I’ll have to proof read a little better next time.  As for the water , you need to look at pictures of LAKE LOUISE to understand

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I guess all your memnorable azures and emerald blues reflect back to the lake, and I love your frosty descriptions. Thus said I cannot pretend to have grasped the concept behind your meaning/deapth here.  I would need commentary or picture here to aid my thought I believe.  Keep at it, am sure the right words will come with time.

This was so powerful and beautifully written. I can’t stop getting chills everytime i read the last few lines. Loved it!

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July 24, 2008

by Ninjagoalie

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31	M	Canada	November 08

This poem needed a strong finish I thought i got it.  But now I know for sure, thank you

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This sounds so beautiful, but there are things that I can’t identify with.  What does “Heritage eyes betray the glamour” mean?  You lose me right about there.  I know that poetry is personal, but in order for it to be enjoyed by another, there has to be some room for the reader to identify with the topic, even if it is different than the writer intends.  I love the first half of the poem and I think you have a fluid and lyrical flow to this piece.  

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June 22, 2008

by Ninjagoalie

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lets just say certain cultures aren’t as excepting as others.

June 23, 2008

by Misticism

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You know, when we, as reviewers, read these anonymous poems, we have no idea who wrote them, where that person’s from or even their gender.  Seeing that you’re a male from up north, who loves the iced over lakes and imagining the cultural issues that you eluded to just now, makes this piece more than it was, as I read it the first time.  

July 24, 2008

by Ninjagoalie

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31	M	Canada	November 08

I’m glad the poem becomes more for you, only ther was no imagining which is why i think this poem, for me is so strong

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i like it.   has a very good flow throughout. and nice theme.

it had a nice feel, cool as the waters.  the emerald blue is an amazing opener, i think.

as for the actual writing, use a bit more of these things

,.;’?!

those held writing.

all in all
quite well, my friend

Again, a very nice piece of Imagery. Leaves a sense of longing and sadness, and is a nice piece of free verse.

Have visions of being in a cabin by the lake.  Reminds me of some of Robert Frost’s poetry.  Some sentences may be divided up a little more to make the poem flow better.

This is the essence of Spenserian poetic verse. You capture an of a frozen lake, and a distant, cold or departed love with ease. if you feel their is more imagery attached to this one that will further illuminate your work push one. I think you should capitalize Emerald Blue in line 15 good work  

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May 22, 2008

by Ninjagoalie

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31	M	Canada	November 08

Not quite sure what “Spenserian poetic verse” means but but if thats a compliment then thanx.  And Emerald Blue should be capitalized

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One of the few love poems I’ve read on Urbis that I really like.  Your metaphors are perfect, especially “White crowned Kings,” representing snowy mountains.

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May 22, 2008

by Ninjagoalie

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That is a true compliment

May 22, 2008

by metaphoricalsimile

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29	M	Portland, OR	November 29

No problem, it was a good poem.

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