Poetry / A Distrubing Walk with KAK
I hate your chosen style of dress/And I hate how you make me smile when I’m depressed/ I love when I’m wild, but I hate when you feel the need to save me from a mess.
I hate the fact that we’re so close/cause between ave & kak-I don’t know who you love the most/cause they both do things that drive you crazy on the low that no one knows.
And now I know what love & hate are, figuring it out wasn’t that hard/And you know we might not leave this alive, but if we do it wont be without being scarred
I hate the way you embrace me, til I’m sick cause of love/And I hate the fact that like you-my feelings for you are hard to get rid of/I love the way you cry from things you’re sick of/And I love the way that you hate me most mornings when we get up.
I hate the way you look at me lustfully/but I love the way you look so naïve when I say “trust me”/I hate the way you say you love me/But I love the way you shut up and Fuck me
And now I know what love & hate are-the captures of this tired soul/And now you’ve seen me naked-but there’s still so much to show.
I hate the way my feelings show/but I love the empty feeling I get when you go/ I hate the way you fore see my evil deeds before I know/ But I love the way I still do them, just to see your tears fall like snow
You hate the fact that I’m so stressed/but I love to see & leave you an emotional wreck after sex/I love the fact that I loose control when I’m upset/but you hate when I scream “I wish we never met”…
And now I know what love & hate are-and by far neither are that great/ And now I know that my love for you is overcome by my hate.
I hate the quiet nights we spend/but I’d love for our verbal quarrels to have violent end. And I love the way, you repent only to deal with me and be drowned in sin again/but I hate the way we built a relationship on lies and expected real love to come from within.
I hate the way you get into with my friends and make me choose sides/but I love the way you flip and attempt to bruise my pride
I hate how you think, you can read me, and say who’s inside/but I love the release of pain from attempts at suicide.
And now I know what love and hate are, and by far-neither are that great/ And you know who I am, like I give Damn-so cold hearted I wont even cry at my own wake
I hate the way you cling to my side/But I love the feeling of domination and pride/I love the way our past will never subside/but I hate the fact that the feelings you hold for me you choose to hide.
I love the fact, that I’m leaving you with open wound/but hate the fact that I’m coping with mine too/I hate fact that we’re ending this so soon/ cause I’d love to make you look like a fool
And now I know what love and hate are-and quite frankly I’m sick of both. And now I could care less if you live or die-cause for us there’s no hope
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
This 109 word review has not been unlocked.
This 25 word review has not been unlocked.
June 13, 2006
Deleted User
This 118 word review has not been unlocked.
nice angry song. (i think it may work better in the lyric catagory). it would be a great modern rock song. very emo if you’ll excuse the term. it sounds like some of the concepts in the verses get a little monotonous. plus there are a few words left out. for example: in the second to last stanza you have ” I hate fact” instead of “i hate the fact”. i saw at least one more. give it a good read through and tighten it up. maybe change a few words bust out some new rhymes that may work better. good start though.
explodinghead
- add/view comments (0)
This 345 word review has not been unlocked.
This 60 word review has not been unlocked.
Wholy shit.
I really enjoyed it. I can relate like no other. Wow, I have no words really to even say. It’s that good man. And you were right, I did really like it. Well, keep writing stuff like this. :)
So by far, I give you a 10 man.
This 355 word review has not been unlocked.
Idiotic nit : I don’t like the slashes. Seperate the lines. It will make me happier. I’ll dance.
I really like the pairings of opposites throughout the piece. Love and hate are so close.. and a lot of times people forget that.. you’ve done a good job drawing that connection.. at least for me.
And of course, the opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference.. which is the conclusion you come to at the end. The only way out of your turmoil is just to walk away, and try to feel nothing. I somehow doubt you were very sucessful.. I’ve never managed to get to that ‘feeling nothing’ about an ex in any sort of a reasonable time frame.
I like this a lot. Aside from my silly little nit, this is a good piece, and I think it has a good shot at publication.
I like this poem it is heart felt and genuine, but the metter keeps changing not so drasticlly that it looses rythem, but for publishing they tend to be strict about the feet of the poem and the syllabals of each line either matching or going in an accepted patteren. That is actully why I stopped trying to publish poetry becuse I think they are wrong I only tell you becuse you want to publish and you seem to not understand the concept. All rules are made to be broken but you must understand those rules first. If you take out the ryming and go with a more Bukowski type of direct free verse you may find it will work better. Becuse you ryme the feet and beat and rythem become more obviopuse and there fore more scutinized. The fact that you repeat the love and hate gives the poem enough rythem that you do not need the rymes.
Showing 1 - 10 of 12
Next →
Review item
Add to faves
GENERAL
REVIEW QUEUE
Ratings & Rankings
