Thanks. I was just thinking that I should write some sort of crazy “self-help” book. However I find is scary to think of my writing style as in the style of a biblical text :-D Yikes! -- Still, I do love to write about monsters.
Short Story / Dealing with gnawing moods.
I was just standing there, on the cliffs above the sea of far away hopes, my gaze lost in the sky, my mind clouded within a tangle of seemingly endless circular thoughts, when two timeless creatures grazing the shore paused, sniffing in my direction.
“We eat jumpers.” It said.
I gulped, and then looked away trying to think of something to make my expression dull and my brow unfurl, away from the scared wide eyed stare I self-consciously knew was too close to jumpy. ‘It’ was big with lumpy blue skin and horns of green and gold on spine and elbows. It rolled its golden flecked blue dog like eyes and licked its pink pug nose between its curled tusks with a long pale tongue.
“Yeah.” It heckled. ” Know what self confidence is? Cause you don’t fake it too well.”
“No, I guess I don’t.” I said, thinking. “I’m not jumpy. I’m not jumpy.” Now and then hoping it might do as a calming mantra.
The other orange skinned one, picking dried blood out from under its long greenish claws smiled and squinted at me. “You want us to explain it to you? Self-esteem?”
“Sure.” I said trying to be coy, but then felt cautious of a mode of bettering up myself so based in negativity. “I mean .. Yes please. Would you mind explaining a little to me, about self-esteem.”
“Not at all, dear soft skinned wanderer.” The blue one smiled. “You are one of those ‘peoples’ aren’t you?”
“Peoples?” The word sounded funny, like pebbles or wobbliers in the rumble that was the result of a voice that issued forth from a mouth the size as could eat me up in one snap and crunch.
“I mean, yes. .. I think. I am a person.”
“Oh good.” Said the other slightly more petit orange and green one.
“Yes. Self-esteem may be expressed in many ways or actions. When a person .. “
“Yes, peoples .. Such as yourself.” The big blue one cut in.
“Yes, for a person to emphasize strengths, or independence ..”
“Even if they don’t win the prize or fail at the task.” The blue one tapped its claws on the rock face of the cliff with emphasis and nodded to the other to continue.
And it nodded back and did so, with out pause. “It is that the confident people try and comprehend what is realistic or needs to get done, you know to do anything, even if it’s impossible.”
“While them others just cower and huddle.”
“Oh, I see.” I said.
“Do you?” The orange one grinned wider and wiped at bit of drool with the back of its giant paw that had dripped from the corner of one of its more canine less tusk like teeth to its pointed chin.
“Yes do you then? So let’s hear some common places confidence may be worked at with peoples.”
“You know conceptually.” The petit on put in.
“Yeah, or well eat you up.” Big blue added.
“Oh? Only if you get jumpy on us or draw a blank of course.”
“Oh. .. ” I said. “Of course.” And I drew in a breath to stop myself from saying “Um ..”
“Well.” I said after a quick glance at the two of them, licking their teeth and shifting their weight on their haunches impatiently. “Self-esteem, it seems to me .. could be expressed in a variety of subjects. Such as he’s really good at expressing himself in writing. Or she is a very spiritual person, devoted to her beliefs and doesn’t let other’s sway her. Or? .. Assertiveness such as in teaching someone how to do something. Or competence in skills in any kind of task or sport.” As I spurted out these hurriedly vague words, I watched them tilt their heads from side to side and smack their jaws.
“Well yes, good enough.” Big blue scratched around one of the horns on the back of its head thoughtfully for a moment.
“Yes, I concur .. we don’t like to eat those who aren’t too easy to forget.” The orange one agreed.
“Great.” I said and I thought “Phew!”
“Cowards and jumpers make the best snacks.” And having said, they shook their giant lumpy heads sadly and continued along the cliffs of indecision to question other sleepy or depressed looking dreamers.
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
s2poets reviewed Version 2 -
Read 33% of the Item
This 30 word review has not been unlocked.
libertygirl05 reviewed Version 2 -
Read 100% of the Item
This 111 word review has not been unlocked.
Bronwyn reviewed Version 2 -
Read 100% of the Item
This 88 word review has not been unlocked.
delon reviewed Version 2 -
Read 100% of the Item
I liked this a lot, not the least for it’s eloquent style, but because it hit the proverbial nail to smartly on the head. I’d been asked the same question, or an analogue of it, recently, and wish I’d had your words to hand. The best I could do was, “Not fearing that of which there is no reason to be afraid, and not letting regret be a hindrance to your future,” which is just a definition in the negative. I like yours better, and your imagery lends itself to your concept elegantly. To think we’re all in the same place, but adamantly lonely, and refusing to take our eyes off of vague horizons to deal with the world… good stuff.
On the side of improvements, aside from a few typographical errors (your descriptive sentences tend to go too long without punctuation) I don’t see anything that needs much changing – a bit of spit and polish, is all. I thought the dialogue stood out as a strong point, especially the persona’s reaction to the monsters – exhibitting the fear of conversational domination more than evisceration; and how easily they were discouraged, so only fear itself is to be feared. Clever. I could stand for this interchange to go on a little longer, delve a little deeper into a very fascinating subject. All depends if you think it’s worth it. As it is though, it’s to the point, and quite excellent. Peace.
- add/view comments (0)
Abajanwoman1 reviewed Version 2 -
Read 100% of the Item
In the opening paragraph i was immediately transported inwards to examine my own confidence level… it reminded me of bibical text in terms of demons tormenting people…
jayne reviewed Version 2 -
Read 100% of the Item
I agree there should be more short stories out there, this is one of those stories that should be published, I enjoyed reading this, and it is well writen. characters are placed well.
Ocean_Avenue16 reviewed Version 2 -
Read 100% of the Item
Ok. Great description, fabulous creativity, however I don’t quite see this as something someone would want to read. Possibly as a children’s story? But even as a children’s story the dialogue and prose is a little over the head of a child. I’m not quite sure what audience you were looking to entertain, however, as a seventeen y/o, I would say this isn’t something for a teenager.
kittydesade reviewed Version 2 -
Read 100% of the Item
This 256 word review has not been unlocked.
Blackbird reviewed Version 2 -
Read 100% of the Item
This 105 word review has not been unlocked.
DrChaos reviewed Version 2 -
Read 100% of the Item
This 48 word review has not been unlocked.
Showing 1 - 10 of 19
Next →
Review item
Add to favesCreator
Relevant Links
Item Stats
GENERAL
9 Reviews 2 Comments
Version 1
Latest Activity: about 1 year ago
REVIEW QUEUE
Appeared in Queue: 0 Times
Skipped: 0 Times
Ratings & Rankings
Versions
| Version 2 |
| Version 1 |