Poetry / Rorschach: Total Internal Reflection

I love your word choice here and the abstract way you presented your piece

Sweet…it really is a Rorschach poem.  The line breaks were awesome.  They forced multiple meanings to so many of the lines.  I really became more than a little conscious of this fact when I read
“herewhere the word is my shepherd I do not / want /that makes me lie /
down in these conceptual pastures”.

Either lying down in conceptual pastures, metaphor of the imagined, or conceiving lies.  Wicked brilliant.  The poetry isn’t in the black here, it’s in the white.

I’d tell you what I read it as saying, but that would give you too good a look into my twisted self…I can only wish that I could have seen nothing instead seeing a message of coming to grasps with reality after a period of self-inflicted delusion.  I saw bats…lots of bats…Hunter S. status.

Excellent work as is to be expected from you.  Sometimes a space opera is merely a space opera.  Sometimes things represent nothing but themselves.  Kills the fuck out of most conspiracy theories doesn’t it?  

This is a good start, and I like the imagery used, but there is a lot of errors in your editing.  There is no capitalization or punctuation, and you have spelled a lot of words wrong, such as realize and herewhere is two words. Who are you trying to address “please let me see.”  I would suggest you stating what you want in general, without adressing anyone in particular.  Just a few suggestions to clean the poem up!  

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September 11, 2006

by Rovey

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
317	91.5% (59 votes)	19.6%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
32	M	United Kingdom	September 29

Thanks for you review, but I must take issue with a couple of your points: Firstly, with the exception of  ”psychedelia” & “herewhere” , both of which are deliberate coinings and have meanings which are pretty self-explanatory, there is not a single spelling “mistake” in the piece(May I suggest that you try broadening your horizions a little and look at the other countries that speak the ENGLISH language, like say, ENGLAND and then you might realise that the spelling is fine. As a poet from the UK I do not highlight US poets inability to use the language that WE invented so it would be nice if you returned the favour). Secondly, the lack of punctuation and capitalisation was a deliberate choice, if you don’t like it, fine, but don’t presume that it was down to laziness or poor editing on my part. Your review might have had some valid points in it, had it not been for the fact that you clearly have no concept of what you are talking about and have chosen to show your ignorance with a patronising tone…. “A good start” don’t get me started!

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very indepth reading, I found new things to consider everytime I reread it.

i really liked this, it reads very well-is it intentional, the lack of space between the herewheres? if so, it’s really clever that way. no spaces.
if it was an accident, hell, leave it in…
but, i would but a “the” in before “sum.”
otherwise, this was a great piece.

Sorry I wrote this in the Elysian Fields after being rocketed there by your insane skills.
The title caught my eye for two reasons. One is that Ink blots are symetrical like a reflection and they supposedly get some insight out of the reader when you try to percieve them. I see this poem just see nothing because you let on that you believe beauty is beyond not only communication but its meaning the actual object that holds it as you search for a simile or metaphor in the spaces between the dots finally accepting you are right something does not always have to be seen. In fact nothing is fine to see. The second reason the poem’s title got me is that Rorschach is a character in of the best books ever made called the Watchmen.

I absolutely love this poem, the breathless frantic quality and the subtle play on prayer and poetry and cathartic modes.  I think it’s completely brilliant and I wouldn’t change a word.  The top score I’ve ever given to a poem on Urbis.

overall i love your word usage in this..your usage of poetic license and the repetition of ‘herewhere’ and the ‘spaces in between’ make this a really enjoyable read..but something about the last stanza and line left me deflated…the ending lines didn’t hit me as strongly as the rest of the poem..but an overall great write

I like this poem, such deep thought, it seems to delve into the inner mind of the very person reading it. The poem is so complex, yet the message so simple, sometimes you can read inbetween the lines and see what you want to, sometimes there is nothing to be seen. We are capable of seeing it all and nothing at the same time. Keep up the good work.