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Short Story / Happy Yule, Colin Cross

“Dear Lord, Noah, throw that garland away it’s hideous,” Noah gave Gwendolyn a peeved look. He always liked her better when she wasn’t being so spastic, and sadly, the holidays always brought it out. He had always figured it was the years spent in her Aunt’s mansion. The woman really was kooky and had the strangest ideas about some things. Certainly about boxing day it would seem. And somehow, this had transferred to his dear Gwendolyn.

Her tree was a good twenty feet tall. He sighed, tossing the garland he’d found, made at twenty pounds a yard in a shoppe from a friend of his whom was a good patron to the gallery. Had Gwendolyn no concept of his job in maintaining their position in the greater London art community? He stifled his frown and placed the stuff back in it’s box, marked to go in the store room until a Christmas where it was en vogue. Perhaps, it could even adorn his own little tree in the flat he kept nearby. A Happy Christmas indeed!

It didn’t help that he could see that Colin-being skulking about in the shadows, trying so very hard at being “mysterious.” It was all beginning to drive him quite batty whom Gwendolyn took to her chamber. . . Not that he wanted to go there himself. He spared a passing glance at the angelic vampire who had helped nurture his abilities at finding the very best art from around the world.

Gwendolyn finished working on the tree and stepped back, watching her “helpers” put on the finishing touches. They were always so pleased to make her happy. It was quite cute. Not that she would tell them that, Noah at the very least would be offended. She looked back to where Colin was lurking in the corner, not looking unlike the Grinch himself. The look on his face said it all, he hated the holiday. But that didn’t clear the careful grin off of her face, or stop her mind from racing as she walked over to him. “You do know your face could freeze that way, it would be quite dreadful.”

“Would it?” he said, a slow grin sliding across his face to replace it. His eyes flared in the light from his Zippo. He flicked it closed and walked to the tree, “I haven’t quite seen so many lights like this since my last trip to Amsterdam.”

Gwen looked thoughtful, “Perhaps, perhaps not. I’ll take you either way.” She rolled her eyes to the tree. It was lovely. White lights were always her favorite, as close to the candles she remembered from hollidays past at her Aunt’s as you could get these days.

He pulled a cigarette out and lit it, “Bloody hell.” He looked over at Noah, “is this in your job description?” He suspected it fell under the obsessive worshiper clause, but he wasn’t going to let anyone know he knew about that little secret provision.

Noah shrugged as he trotted past carrying a box full of fresh pine wreaths, a winded helper carting a matching box of garland. They didn’t go far, stopping at the stairway and began to wrap the garland and hang the wreaths.

“Of course it’s in his job description, Colin. Don’t be silly.” Gwendolyn said before her Grinch could get another jibe in. She stood back, taking in the full spectacle of the tree. It seemed to glow almost preternaturally with electric light from the exquisite lights Noah had found in a far off corner where an electrician toiled away at making lights for trees.

“His fault if it’s not,” he muttered, finally, walking around the tree, looking at the lights himself. He took a long draw from his cigarette, wondering if this meant that he should get Gwen a gift. What does someone get the cheerful vampire who has everything? He couldn’t remember a time when he had received a holiday gift that wasn’t bourbon, let alone one he’d given himself during his adult life.

“Oh it is, trust me. Not like he’d mind anyway.” She peered at the tree this way and that way, checking for holes. There was nothing worse, in her opinion, than a badly decorated tree. It was just as bad as a fruitless night of hunting. She looked up at Colin, wishing he would stop smoking. She could just imagine the tree going up in a poof of smoke. She shook her head, as if blowing the imaginary fire out, “Is your sister celebrating Boxing day with you?” She kept herself from frowning, and briefly pondered what she should get him this year. She doubted he would like anything she picked out, it almost had her curl up dejectedly. Almost.

“Only if I managed to get her one of your little assistants gift wrapped for her and placed under her sheets.” He looked and Gwen wryly, “and then I don’t know if she’d want me around.”

Gwen wrinkled her nose, “I would never throw them to the wolves. Er…wolf.” She looked up at him much like a very serious child would. “Although Betinka seems to think highly of her.” Either that or her little assassin was scared, and surely that couldn’t be. Betinka didn’t know fear. Gwendolyn shrugged and sighed. “Well…what would you like? Gift-wise that is?” She peered at him curiously. It was quite novel not to know what a person was going to do. She so rarely experienced it these days, until Colin. Sadly, she never had a clue what he was going to do or get into.

He shrugged, “Gift?” Trying to play the whole, uncomfortable question off.

“Yes, that is generally what you do for the season. Give gifts, get gifts.” She looked at him a bit crestfallen. “I suppose if you really want nothing we can just pretend I didn’t ask.”

He pulled his pack out again, and shook it, “How about a full carton?”

“I’m not going to help you kill yourself. It’s not in my best interest.” Her lips pinched together in irritation.

“It’s not?” he supposed he would have to figure something out now . . . but why should he make it easy for her?

“Well, no, it’s always bad form to kill your meal ticket.” She rolled her eyes. He always had to make everything difficult. Sometimes, it was all she could do not to strangle him.

His grin widened as he jumped on a counter top to sit down. He finished the last of the cigarette. His eyes looked at the tree rather than her, “If you say so.” Maybe he should behave for her once in a while, he pondered. There had to be more to their association than just sex and blood letting. “Is that all it is to you? A meal?” He wondered if his question was just that, or was their more behind it? Had he ever told Gwen that he loved her, even in the throes of their mutual gratification?

Gwen shrugged, still watching him. “If it was only that I’m sure you’d have been dead months ago.” She looked away, feeling pained, and wishing it was simply that. It would make his detachment easier to deal with. She rubbed her brow, her mind whirling.

His faced changed again to a frown, “So the tree’s up,” changing the subject, “so now what?”

She looked at it forlornly, he had a way of sapping out all of her happiness. “I don’t know. The staff will finish decorating the rest of the gallery, and the gardens. They always look pretty in winter.” No one ever pointed out that they also never stopped blooming, her staff seemed to take it in stride and move right on.

“But parties and other merriment?” His eye caught hers, “I believe they’re common around now?” In fact, the inevitable boozing it up was the only part of the season he enjoyed.

“True. There shall be a party here for the staff, and open house and at the very least one at my Aunt’s house.” She looked away.

“Cool,” he said. He walked around the other side of the tree, a light caught his eye right. He smiled briefly, “When?”

Gwen’s brow quirked up, “When what?”

“The parties?” He looked at her as if she were daft.

“Oh, that. The week before Christmas here. And the Aunt’s is always on the Eve. It’s tradition. She’s big on that.” She sputtered it out, as if remembering it from some long memorized and long forgotten poem. She leaned against the wall, watching him out of the corner of her eye.

He moved around the other side of the tree, slipping a camera from his pocket. He looked down, checking the flash to see if it was off. He took a couple shots, the light of the room should have been enough. The tree blazed quite like the sun. He hoped his hand would muffle the sound of the mechanisms whirling around inside the thing. “You’ve said something to that effect before.” Colin was quite sure that her Aunt was a vampire and quite an old one too. Strange Aunts that had a hand in their upbringing were always something they had in common, though they never really discussed it.

His was a hard drinking American witch who couldn’t cure her liver disease with herbs and spices from her garden. Unfortunately, Colin was the only one to truly inherit her power, it missed his sister entirely. Thankfully, Natalie had a certain magic of her own that she drew upon, however dark it was.

“I suppose I have. She’s… definitely different.” She looked up at the tree. “And very old.” She looked up at the ceiling briefly wondering who would be at the gathering this year, certainly Verity and King, but other than that it was touch and go. Their race was normally transient, London’s close circle was more the exception than the rule.

“It was time I headed back to my flat,” he said, unthinkingly. “I better go check on things there.” Like his phone messages for business. People still needed photographers for peep shows on their wives, no matter how much Gwen turned him into one of her mortal menagerie.

Gwen frowned and turned to head up the stairs. “Sure. I’ll see you whenever.”

He frowned, not sure what to do. He did what he had to do and walked out. Besides, the real photography equipment was still locked in a trunk, along with a large amount of negatives.


  • * * *

The following afternoon, Noah walked through the gallery observing all of his handy work. He smiled, humming to himself. The decorations were rather elaborate, bordering on overwhelming this year, but Gwen was always one to go overboard. He stepped over Betinka where she was sprawled across the floor—-pretending to have passed out. “You’re lucky I don’t stomp on you.” He looked down at her pulling a face, which she returned by sticking out her tongue.

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Probably not, but it would be amusing.”

Betinka rolled her eyes not knowing what would be amusing about gaining a couple of broken bones. She looked about the room propping her head up on her hand. “She went a bit overboard this year.”

Before Noah could answer, both their heads turned to the voices coming into the gallery. Noah’s pleasant demeanor suddenly disappeared. Why was he here during the day time?

“Bloody hell, Colin,” Natalie yelled as her rental car pulled up in front of the gallery, “you’re just damned lucky I’m in town or you’d have to lug all that shit on the subway.”

“Tube, Nat.” He jumped out of the car and ran to the truck, “like it’s ever really an issue.” Though he knew he didn’t want to expend his power on something as trite carrying a tripod in the London Underground from his apartment to Gwendolyn’s gallery. He waited for her to pop the truck and he pulled out his bag and his old tripod.

“I thought you’d hocked all that?”

“I said, ‘I thought about it.’”

“Right,” she said to her brother, not believing him entirely. Apparently, he’d lied about a lot of things when it came to giving up his old profession as an art photographer. “Why did I agree to come along?”

“Because you’re my sister and you do this sort of thing?”

Truthfully, Natalie hadn’t seen her brother this excited about anything since he’d managed to win a couple grand betting on football through pure, dumb luck. She slung the tripod over her shoulder, holding it like a club. She shook her head as Colin ran to the door and threw it open.

Betinka tilted her head back, watching the pair walk in, an upside down world always entertained her. If Noah had caught that thought he would have pointed out that she was very easily entertained and had always been so since a small child—-he would know having known her before they both could walk. She looked up at Noah, who was watching the pair with a look of disdain on his face. It made her feel close to strangling him. She always wondered when he was going to stop pining after Gwen, but if the look on his face was a sign it would not be anytime soon. “What are you two up to?” Betinka asked the Cross siblings.

“Put it there,” Colin said to Natalie, pointing to a spot on the floor in front of the tree. “We can start from there.” He looked around, and snapped his fingers at Natalie who was trying not to stare at Betinka too hungrily. “Here.”

Colin looked around after barking orders. “Oh, Noah,” he said as if noticing him for the first time, “where are the ladders?”
Noah glowered, “In the store room, down stairs.” If possible his glower grew a bit darker, his lips pinching together. Tinka looked from him to Colin, and then to Natalie. And wished she had not. The look on the woman’s face made her feel like crawling behind Noah and hiding. She didn’t though, merely stared back instead.

Noah looked down, nudging her with his foot. “Why don’t you show them where they are. I do have things to do.”
Betinka sighed, it was just like him to flee and dump the situation into her lap. “Thanks.” She grumbled under her breath.

“Downstairs?” Colin asked, looking at Betinka. He looked at Natalie, he could see her force the desire down. He gave his sister a look, she responded with one that said she’d play nice with Noah.

He looked down at Betinka, “Please?” He was smiling.

It was beginning scare Natalie. What was the vampire doing to him? Was it the blood loss? Was it finally driving her already barely sane brother completely nuts? Or did it have to do with what their aunt had warned her about with men, powers, and playthings? Natalie suspected it was probably both.

Betinka nodded, motioning for him to follow. “Sure, why not.” Better than being devoured by your sisters eyes, she though but thought better of vocalizing it. “They are in the back storage room.” She hated going down there, it was very dark. She almost frowned when he smiled, it seemed almost unnatural, since in her experience he normally looked angry, irked or merely disinterested.

“Noah,” Natalie said almost sweetly, walking up to him. She moved silkily, she was beginning to get an inkling for what her brother the photographer had in store and she didn’t want it to be all fucked up by Noah’s sniveling. She grinned, drawing herself into her full height. She almost reached back to twirl her knife, but knew that wasn’t necessary in this house.

Noah watched her coldly, his gaze growing more chilled by the second. “Yes?”

Her grin grew wider, “Are you going to mess this up for my brother?”

The look he returned to her was positively icy, he was beginning to look like he was just outbid at Sotheby’s on an item he desperately wanted.. “I had not planned to do anything with your brother, but then again I don’t really know what he is doing mucking about the gallery during the day.”

Is he really this daft? She thought.

Noah rolled his eyes, he hated women like this. She was as far from his Gwen as humanly, or inhumanly possible. “In any case. I have better things to do than much about in your brother’s business.” He felt like screaming and pulling out his hair. He might have if he thought it would make him feel any better, instead, he did his best to maintain his professional cool. This was no worse than any other negotiation, he even had Betinka behind him too should things turn really sour. There were some truly unsavory people in the art world, he reflected. Men that this Natalie would probably like.

Colin heard Natalie laugh. It was cold and callous, “I’m sorry about whatever she just did to Noah,” he said wedging himself between two very old and ugly paintings in the store room. “I’m just working on a Christmas gift for Gwendolyn.” There, he said it. It was now all true. He was now, officially, doing something nice for her.

Betinka beamed, “Oh, she can do whatever she wants to him, short of killing him . . . I suppose.” She smiled “He needs more character anyway.” And Natalie was certainly character building. “I’m sure Gwen will love whatever you do.”

She grabbed the ladder off the wall, grumbling under her breath. Noah must have put them up, he always found it funny to wedge them behind all of the discarded works of art and the other strange stuff that was thrown into storage.

“Do you have anything taller?” Colin asked, wondering. He looked about the room, seeing a light switch and flicking it on. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust. Anything I could use for funky lighting?” He didn’t worry too much about Noah, aside from him spoiling a pair of pants, Natalie knew when not to draw.

Betinka perched on the back of a heavy antique couch, kicking her feet. “Somewhere in this mess there is. Noah likes to make things difficult for the rest of us, obviously.” She hopped down and walked towards the back of the room, pulling another door open. She flicked the light on, “I just don’t quite know where.”

“I’ve wondered this awhile,” his eyes caught hers, “what, exactly, is his point around here?” Colin was sure Noah wonders the same about him.

Betinka almost laughed. “He pretty much runs the place, really. He does what Gwen can’t since she can’t . . . you know. The sleeping during the day sorta makes it hard to go to auctions and buy art and well, you know. . . run the business.” She shrugged, glad it wasn’t her job. The whole part of Gwendolyn being a vampire she’d accepted long ago, but that didn’t mean it made what she did for Gwendolyn any easier. She suspected it’d made things more difficult with some of the other Vampires around. She still squeaked at the memory of one of the elders she faced down because Gwendolyn had decided she wanted a painting that he was also interested in. Thankfully, her aunt intervened and their strange hierarchy won out. “What are you looking for?” She asked, suppressing the shiver that went along with that train of thought.

“I don’t know,” he looked up at her, a half grin on his face, “yet.” The creative spark was returning to him quickly, it would have been jarring if his mind hasn’t been whirling around, too busy to notice. “So is there any hope of you answering my sister’s advances?”

Betinka blinked at him for a moment, her mouth opening and closing like a fish, even as her skin began to turn a rosy hue. She ducked her head, “Maybe.” The tips of her ears were pink as she looked back up, “but I really have no desire to be eaten alive, and she rather looks at me like she would want to.” And frankly is she dared admit it the woman scared her.
He smiled, pulling the trunk from the room, “Grab the ladder, we’ll just make do for more height later on.”
Betinka sighed, wishing she had kept her mouth shut. She shrugged it off as she lugged the ladder up the stairs.


  • * * *

When the night of Gwendolyn the Vampire’s party arrived, Noah felt the frown that was increasingly present ease onto his face. He hated that Cross man and hated it still more that he was forced to help him. He looked up at the stairs wistfully, she had still not came down. He wasn’t entirely surprised, she had always been late to her own parties. Even before her change. It had always exasperated him. He put his arms behind his back, keeping them away from his freshly pressed and cleaned suit. With his head held high, he walked away from the mirror before Colin could say a word to him.

Colin looked himself over in the mirror, Noah and his preening barely registering on his distracted mental radar. His face was cleanly shaven and a his suit was freshly laundered. He’d even had his coat cleaned. He smiled, looking at Noah. He could tell it killed the guy to help him out, but Natalie had a way of persuading people to play along . . . it seemed Gwendolyn’s resident “Security Expert” was just as good at playing “good cop”.

Colin looked around, admiring his handiwork of photographing the Christmastime activities in the gallery and throughout London. His favourite were a series of portraits of a couple of goth’s in fishnets and Santa hats.

He looked over at his sister who was mingling in the crowd, she seemed silently pleased with his latest creative burst, or perhaps her eyes were following Betinka around in her cocktail dress. He lit a cigarette to steel his nerves, this was the first opening night he’d done in over five years, though thankfully, only a handful knew he was the photographer. He always hated the part where he was mobbed and forced to talk about the work. He always felt it should be able to stand for itself.

Noah didn’t know who to be more irritated with: Colin, Betinka or Natalie. Although he almost felt sorry for Betinka, that woman seemed to watched her like a very hungry wolf. He let out a sigh and smoothed down the front of his suit. “She should be down in a moment I suppose.” He looked expectantly at the stairs. “She’s been…” He shrugged. He didn’t think Colin needed to know how fretful she had been when he had not shown up the past couple of days. It irked Noah endlessly.

“Gwen,” Colin said, catching his drift.

Noah shrugged, “Actually I was going to say more nervous than usual, but yes.”

Colin turned, walking away from Noah, hiding his own bout of nervousness. He stubbed his cigarette out in one of the planters that were scattered about the gallery floor. They were all strung tastefully with white Christmas lights. He resisted the serious urge to tip out a second, light and smoke it all the way down to the filter. Before his hand could make the decision, he could  feel a presence slip down the stairs and into the gallery. He turned and exhaled clean air. . .

Gwen walked down the stairs, her white dress flowing about her making her look more like a pale ghost than a vampire. She paused halfway down, looking about nervously. These gatherings always left her feeling edgy. Too many minds loudly brushing against her own.
She stopped halfway down taking a breath to steady herself before continuing on down to the bottom. The decorations were perfect, twinkling like stars in the dimmed light of the atrium. She looked around her, searching the crowd for a particular face. She didn’t find him, but she did find Noah. She weaved her way through the crowd, feeling more gloomy than she had in days.

Colin slipped into the crowd, brushing up against his sister. “What do you think?”

“Do you do weddings too?” Natalie asked.

“Bitch,” Colin replied, grinning. “Think she’d be proud?”

Natalie looked around at his creation, “Probably, but you know how she felt about all this.”

Colin nodded, sighing, “Yeah, but it’d always been complete crap before that.”

Natalie shrugged in response. Colin had always been closer to their Aunt Patty, but Natalie knew she would be proud of this one.

Gwen looked about as she reached Noah, her brow furrowing as she looked about the atrium. “Noah…what is that behind the tree?” She squinted, although she could see perfectly well. “I thought we agreed that everything should be placed in the main gallery.” She looked at Noah questioningly, shrugging at his look of discomfort she made her way across the room to the glass room dividers behind the Christmas tree, peering at them curiously. Noah followed dejectedly in her wake.

Colin turned as he felt them enter. He’d managed to shoo as many people away from the room as possible. It was her gallery, she deserved to see this for herself in peace. His face dropped to a scowl.

Gwen walked along the wall peering at each photo for a moment, smiling as she came to the picture of the goth kids in Santa hats. Her grin grew a hair bigger with each photo until she finally came to the one of her tree. She had a niggling little feeling who the photographer was, but thought it was a decidedly silly though. Her finger tapped an uneven beat on the last frame as she examined the photo, causing Noah behind her to almost twitch with nervousness. “They are all so perfect.” Her voice came out wistfully causing Noah to grind his teeth together.

“Yeah,” Colin said finally, coming out of the shadows “Noah paid that little prick of a photographer a lot of money for these shots.” He didn’t smile, he couldn’t in front of Gwen, though inwardly, he felt pleased she loved his latest work.

Gwen snorted, “Noah didn’t do this. He wouldn’t feel so very annoyed if he did, now would he?” She looked back at him questioningly, before looking back at Noah. “I’ve never felt him feel quite so agitated actually.”

Colin shrugged, “Whatever you say.”

Gwen shrugged, straightening as she let her finger tips drop away and she turned to leave. He spoiled everything, and at this point she didn’t even feel like taking the bait.

“I didn’t,” he said, his scowl turning to a frown. “I cajoled him into letting me set this up under your sleeping nose.” He leaned against the wall, his guard completely down. His gaze was on the pattern of the tiles on the floor.

Gwen looked back at him, doubtfully. She opened her mouth to say something, but she didn’t know what to say, in all truth, She ducked her head, looking up at him doubtfully. “Thank you.” Her lips pinched together as she tried to decide what his game was this time.

He looked up into her eyes, “Happy Christmas,” he said meekly. His mouth twisted into a smile, it felt strange on his lips as it slowly contorted on his lips into something genuine.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see a thin hand grip Noah’s wrist and pull him into main gallery. He was certain that was purely by the power of his sister.

Gwen stared at him for a moment, wondering who this was and what they had done with her Colin. She walked over to him placing a hand on his forehead, he felt toasty, but then her skin was always chilled anyway. “Happy Christmas, indeed.” Her hand moved down to his cheek, touching him lightly, she’d never seen him smile. It was quite a novel experience. She never noticed Noah being dragged off.

Natalie shoved Noah against a wall in a closet, “Thank you, you prat.”

Noah glowered. “I didn’t do anything you…” His glower turned into a glare.

“You behaved, kept quiet and didn’t fuck things up for Colin.” She pet him on the head and turned.

Noah sighed, in all honesty he had been far too stunned to do much of anything. He had this new sinking feeling in his chest that the Colin prat might actually care for Gwen, and that---to him--was more disastrous than anything. “What other choice did I have?” He glared angrily at her back.

“Like that vampire or your nubile friend would let me carve you up for the Christmas feast.”

“Perhaps not, but I’m sure Betinka could think up some clever bit of revenge. She’s quite pleased with how things are presently.” Betinka was more than a bit pleased with Colin’s idea of surprising Gwen. It made him want to strangle the little assassin, but he was far too fond of his own hide to give such a thing a try.

Natalie turned and left him in the broom closet. After a minute or two, “Oh come out of the closet, Noah.”

        
“So you like it,” Colin asked, strangely seeking her approval. “Does this work for a gift?”

Gwen watched him for a moment, her lips twitching up into a smile, “I think it more than works, actually … I think it might be the best gift I’ve ever received.” She bit at her lip, afraid to say anymore.

He nodded, not sure of what to say or do. It was like the light was extinguished so long ago was returning to his eyes.

She bit at her lip for a moment as if deciding something in her head. It was almost funny if she thought about it, they were acting like two teenagers, uncomfortable and speechless. She walked closer to him, pulling on the lapels of his jacket. She looked up at him, giving him a strange look.

“What?” He asked, wondering what was going to happen next

“I don’t know. I just love you.” She looked up at him frowning. It was so much easier to react to him, she decided, when he was being a prat. “I’m…” She shrugged, she actually felt like crawling int a hole, but smiled instead.

He blinked, “Excuse me?” He had to have heard her wrong. “You. . . ?” It was quickly becoming one of those instances where you acted from your gut instead of your head. Did he really . . . ?

She shrugged, “I’m sorry,” She smiled weakly, “probably the last thing in the world you want to hear.”

“I. . . ” he struggled to get it out. He blinked again, the words working their way up, him accepting them slowly as they rose up through his throat, “love you too.” He stepped back towards the wall. He felt like he was being rewired.

Gwen blinked at him stupidly, feeling like her last brain cell had popped out of existence. She blinked at him for a moment longer trying to gather a single thought together. “What?” It came out more like a squeak. “I thought you hated me.”

Natalie moved into the shadow of the doorway. She knew something was happening, and perhaps it was good for her brother. She grinned slightly when she saw her brother reach and grab the vampire for a long, hard kiss. Was that all it took, she pondered?

Noah peeked into the room from behind her, curious. “Dear lord…” he mumbled under his breath.

Natalie laughed to herself, pushing Noah out of her way. She shook her head, leaving her brother and Gwendolyn to their own devices. She slipped down the stairs, moving past a lost gentleman looking for a bathroom. She caught him glancing at how high her slit came up her dress. It was probably too high for such an occasion, but Nat always did like to stand out when she didn’t need to disappear. She searched the room, wondering who her next victim would be. Perfect, she thought, as she palmed something after stretching her arms up to the low arch that framed the doorway.

Betinka walked through the crowd, a smile pasted onto her face hiding the discomfort she felt about her clothing. It took all of her willpower not to pull at the hem. She looked about, feeling pleased that she merely had to play the pretty ornament tonight though, she was in no mood to play the hostess, and evidentially, Gwen was not either. She had seen neither hide nor hair of her after she came downstairs. Betinka prowled the edge of the crowd thanking the powers above that Athena and Mina had taken charge of the guests.

Natalie raised the mistletoe over head, smiling. “Hi,” she said hungrily, a bit like a wolf sizing up one of the little pigs.

Betinka’s eyebrows went up, eying Natalie suspiciously. “Um … hello?” She felt like squirming in her skin, or better yet running as Natalie held the mistletoe like most people might a weapon. “What are you doing?”

“You can’t tell?” She approached her slowly.

“One can never tell with you.” she said gravely, even as she wondered if she should run.

“You don’t know what I’m after?” Natalie was close enough to bite her.

Betinka blinked up at her, hedging, “You wouldn’t believe me if I said ‘no,’ would you?”

She cast aside the mistletoe and leaned in, seizing Betinka into her arms. She kissed her full on the lips, curious if she’ll bolt and run.

Betinka’s lips curled up at the edges for the smallest moment, amused, she nipped at Natalie’s lips. It was a fun sort of game after all, even if she had to pretend to be prey.

“Holy shit,” Dagwood said as his eyes saw it. He tapped Billy on the shoulder who was straining to hold the note on his guitar for just one more second.

He smiled, “Told you it would be a good gig.” Even Billy questioned whether or not the vampire’s Christmas party would be a worthwhile gig to play at, even if she was a nice woman at heart.

And with that, Dagwood picked up his bass where Aziz moved more thoroughly into his drumming. Aziz’s hands were becoming a blur of rhythm on the tabla’s. In the end, they were just happy to play on and on and be somewhere warm before getting in the van and being able to buy some food on the train ride to their families before Christmas. It was going to be a good year.

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Hopeless avatar General Stranger

July 13, 2006

Hopeless

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brazilshooting avatar General Stranger

July 12, 2006

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Kchurie03 avatar General Stranger

July 12, 2006

Kchurie03

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Kchurie03 reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

I loved it. You used excrutiating detail, and left not much to the readers’ imagination, which for me is good. Others can disagree all they want, but I really liked it! I gave it an 8 out of 10

Roxy avatar General Stranger

July 12, 2006

Roxy

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Roxy reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

I’m left wondering about Noah. I almost thought Natalie was interested in him. I do think you could use descriptions. There was no way to depict the physcal appearances of really any of the characters. A bit more of a personality description would be good too. I do like the creativity, and the happy ending. Very well done.

bamabelle1981 avatar General Stranger

July 12, 2006

bamabelle1981

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bamabelle1981 reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item
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Jimeth avatar General Stranger

July 12, 2006

Jimeth

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Jimeth reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

Overall, I really liked this.  I had some trouble figuring out what some characters were, namely Betinka and Natalie.  Noah was explained, Colin was explained, and Gwendolyn was explained.  Or they were explained so far as what they were and what their motivations were.  For a short while I had thought Natalie was a vampire wanting to “feast” on Betinka.  This was obviously an incorrect thought, at least in the literal sense.  I enjoyed the interactions, in general I liked the dialogue.  I think I enjoyed Betinka and Natalie more, their characters seem like they could be extremely interesting.  Colin and Gwendolyn actually seemed to be the most straighforward, story-wise.  By that I mean, they were straightforward romance/love story.  The only obstacle was that they both seemed unwilling to admit their mutual feelings.  The cat and mouse game with Natalie and Betinka had me interested, I’m not sure if it was because I was confused about whether Natalie wanted to “feast” on her as I said earlier, or if Natalie was attracted to her.  My main confusion came from word usage, eyeing her hungrily and so forth.  I’m glad though that it was resolved so I wasn’t completely uncertain.  Though in a way, leaving things uncertain can be a positive thing.

Noah’s character was also interesting, though he did seem to have the least amount of character.  Which I will say is good, because he isn’t supposed to have a lot of character, they make him seem like a slight dullard, and the way his character is portrayed doesn’t contradict this.  No character in the story had a great amount of change.  Colin finally admitted his feelings and smiled.  Noah accepted the fact more (though he’s still not happy with it).  Gwendolyn admitted her feelings, though I can’t say that was a huge change, she was already rather open about it, she wasn’t direct, but compared to Colin, she was more direct in her feelings.  Natalie stayed the same throughout, Betinka changed a bit when she accepted Natalie.  It’s a short story, so I am not expecting a lot of change or character development.  So the character development that was present was pleasant.

There are some other odds and ends that I’ll just finish this up with.  Mostly spelling/grammar/typos.

“It seemed to glow almost preternaturally with electric light from the exquisite lights Noah had found in a far off corner where an electrician toiled away at making lights for trees.”  Too many `lights`

“He looked and Gwen wryly”  I think the `and` should be `at`.

“or was their more behind it?”  `their` should be `there`

“She sputtered it out, as if remembering it from some long memorized and long forgotten poem.”  I liked that line.

“she though but thought better of vocalizing it.”  I think `though` was meant to be `thought`.

“jarring if his mind hasn’t been whirling around” `hasn’t` should be ‘hadn’t’, I think.

“When the night of Gwendolyn the Vampire’s party arrived…”  Is it well known by everyone invited that she is a vampire?  Is she generally referred to as “Gwendolyn the Vampire”?  I think just saying “Gwendolyn’s party” would do better.  We already know she is a vampire, and unless there is a great significance to saying “Gwendolyn the Vampire” now, it seems unnecessary to have “the Vampire” tacked on at all.  In a sense, it is redundant.

“but thought it was a decidedly silly though.”  `though` should be `thought` again.

“His mouth twisted into a smile, it felt strange on his lips as it slowly contorted on his lips into something genuine.”  The second `on his lips` could do with removal.

“It was like the light was extinguished so long ago was returning to his eyes.”  I think you need a `that` after `light`.

“she actually felt like crawling int a hole, but smiled instead.” `into` is missing its o.

Mr_Pebbles avatar General Stranger

July 12, 2006

Mr_Pebbles

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Mr_Pebbles reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item
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Deleted User avatar

July 12, 2006

Deleted User

Review of Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

Good piece. Punctuation needs some help. Other than that, a fun, interesting read.

Nightmares_Tickle avatar General Stranger

July 08, 2006

Nightmares_Tickle

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Nightmares_Tickle reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

You wrote over 5800 words just to kill time? Yikes.

I must say, your narritive is positively fluid. Dialogue is natural and at no time did I feel like anything was forced or that you were just throwing exposition in.

You guys pat each other on the back. Well done. Especially on a lark.

RobertRandolph avatar General Stranger

July 07, 2006

RobertRandolph

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RobertRandolph reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

Plesent read all the way through.  You do a wonderful job painting the scene for me and I felt like I was there.  Enjoyed the dialog and descriptive language.  I find this more then just a silly piece.  Great work!

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dellessa

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Loc: United States
Gen: F
Last Login: January 11
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