I think I always had it them together like this. It was weird becuse it started out with this obviouse rythem and suddly I was writing prose at the end I remember wondering why it worked yet feeling strongly that it did
Poetry / Choke the opera singer
the never ending
ending
transition time again
if there is one thing I can take comfort in
it is the fact that things will always change
feelings
fade
dreams
die
soon we will part
tonight we rest
why is it that comfort and happiness
are not the same thing
the plot gets boring
maybe
(They lived happily ever after.)
is a bad ending after all
time
passes
time
true rhythm always repeats
the beat goes on
she bought a gift for me
a humidor for my cigars
that was very nice of her
of course it turns out that it is made of the wrong kind of cedar
humidors are suppose to be made of Spanish cedar
mine was made of aromatic cedar
that is the kind they make closets and chest out of
to kill moths
you see aromatic cedar is poison
she claims she didn’t know this
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
EES reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
awesome and a true poem, that is what you’ve got here. I like reality in what I read. (regaurdless of it being real or not.)
“chest out of” chests? I don’t know what you should exactly do, but I feel like it needs a bit of rephrashing here.
I love the total switch in the voice!
- add/view comments (1)
dawnsday reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
HA! You read this sort of thinking, hm, hm okay what is that. then the last line kinda kicks you in the teeth. good stuff.
Ravenmaster reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
Brilliant. The final change, of course, is death, and what better way to kill someone then by ignorance? The inversion of the syles (short, broken for change, flowing and (relatively) more coherent for death) increases the feel and punch of the poem as well. Quite powerful.
Ratbas reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
Strange as hell. I’m actually trying not to draw a connection between the two parts or either part and the title, but I have to admit that they all go together in two ways: phonetic beauty and consistancy of character. Have I read these seperately before?
Showing 1 - 4 of 4
Review item
Add to favesCreator
Relevant Links
Item Stats
GENERAL
4 Reviews 2 Comments
Version 1
Latest Activity: about 1 year ago
REVIEW QUEUE
Appeared in Queue: 0 Times
Skipped: 0 Times
Ratings & Rankings
