Poetry / Conflicts Thru the Mist (part 1)

He came towards her thru the mist
This hopeful, lonely knight
He’d grown a lot since last they met
He’d become quite the sight.

She’d forced herself to move along
It seemed so long ago;
The lover’s time had ended then
And their life’s innocent glow.

She realized that time would not
Let her forget that dream
No matter what she said or did
It haunted her, it seemed.

Even though she’d made him see
Separate happiness could be,
He still returned, it seemed that he
Just couldn’t quite agree.

She got down on her knees and begged
She yearned for his return,
Not to her, but to the mist
Where he couldn’t her heart burn.

Yet he came for her from the mist
He wanted to make her see
That he could be the man she dreamed
If she’d only let him be.

I can’t she sobbed, theres someone else
He loves me. I love him.
How could I do that to him
When I’m everything he’s dreamed?

I understand; I’ll leave you be
But you must tell me one thing:
Do you love him as he loves you,
The way you once loved me?

She had no response, could only stare
Into her phantom’s eyes
How could he know just what to say
To reach her heartfelt cries?

She thought about the things hed said
But didn’t know how to trust
Her happiness and heart and life
To someone who once rushed
Away from her and their heart’s love
Which left her sweet heart crushed.

What choice was she to make in this
Her final act, her battle?

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Reviews

September 01, 2006

AngelusAustin

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
48	100.0% (6 votes)	63.6%

personal info reviewer stats

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
25	F	Hanceville, AL	September 17

AngelusAustin reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

I love it!
The only criticism I have has to do with a forgotten apostrophy, “the things hed said”; in the word hed, there’s a home for one of those things (‘). ;)
It’s very well written, & once that little apostrophy is back home, I don’t have any complaints whatsoever. The language is well used, it flows, & it’s both slightly simple & very complex. The girl loves “her phantom”, but she’s in love with another man who is also in love with her. While the phantom is in love with her, he cannot be everything she needs, for she is a creature of the light, not of the mist, like the phantom is.