The item you were looking for was deleted.
A blossoming rose
stays wrapped in itself
waiting for me to notice to bloom
I quietly move along
attached to myself
painstakingly blind to the view
I move amongst the world
combing it for love
until I notice the eyes before me
I take a breath
as the rose begins to sway
and unwraps into elegance and beauty
I only grasped it lightly
scared of the taint in us all
and the possibility that I fall
past where I know
In a moment
it was caught along the wind
and danced and swayed
away from my tearing face
capturing me in sorrow and woe
All of the fields in my dreams
stood before me
but I couldn’t reach their beautiful obscene
Now I stand lifeless
scared of what has become
wishing I could go back to my perpetual dreams
Only when the day breaks
and I notice the dusk along the breeze
and a rose upon the hill
of many different shades of green
Only when there awaits
a love at my door
and a hand for me to hold
throughout the long winter cold
Only when I notice
that you have graced me with your face
and it is no illusion of mine
will I know that my boundless wandering
has been relieved in a distant and echoed time
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
I like this as a poem but it really doesn’t seem like lyrics, in my opinion. I am not trying to be too critical but it seems like a poem…a quite good one though. I like most the words you used, showing a large vocabulary. Good job.
July 21, 2006
“waiting for me to notice it bloom” only typo I can see
the word “amongnst” seems a bit over done perhaps just among….
Very lyrical piece warm beautiful moving nicely done
Not bad. You have to be aware about your wordings. Try not to make it too far out with descriptions by using what I call Flowery Words. Try and keep a pace within the song and find a rythmn and try and stay with that rythmn. I hope this is helpful. Good luck in the future.
Showing 1 - 3 of 3
Ratings & Rankings
Review item
Add to faves
