Screenplay / Script I
SCRIPT I
SCENE I
Danny and Isabella sit in Danny’s dorm room, Danny is laid out on the bed,apparently sleeping, but Isabella is sitting up, holding a pillow and looking at him, quite concerned. The camera zooms in on Isabella’s lips.
ISABELLA
Danny. DANNY. Wake UP.
DANNY
(groggy)
Huh? What? I’m… I’m here.
ISABELLA
(sighs)
Well what do you think?
DANNY
About what?
ISABELLA
You know—getting some help.
DANNY
I don’t need help.
ISABELLA
This is not normal. Okay? None of this is normal. This—this isn’t real. You know it isn’t.
DANNY
What is real? What—what is fact? What is truth to you?
ISABELLA
Stop it.
DANNY
Some people spend their live seeking some manner of truth or another. Aren’t we all in a sense seeking what we can never find?
ISABELLA
(tearing up)
Some things… aren’t meant to be found.
DANNY
(angry)
You think THIS is real? You think books and classes and dormitories is real life? Real life is outside these walls. Real life isn’t a safe, sheltered environment. Maybe you’ve never been there but I have.
ISABELLA
(crying)
Stop it Danny just STOP IT. I can’t take this. I can’t take any of it. You’re going to have to get yourself some help because I can’t do this anymore.
DANNY
I wish you wouldn’t. Nobody ever asked you to in the first place.
ISABELLA STORMS OUT.
DANNY
Of course I’m never going to forget about her. She’ll never let me.
Danny picks up a picture off his dresser, stares longingly at it and sobs.
SCENE II
Isabella sits outside on a park bench,drying her tears, when Jake approaches.
JAKE
How is he?
ISABELLA
Same.
JAKE
Did you mention the…
ISABELLA
Yes.
JAKE
So he just…
ISABELLA
Yes.
JAKE
Damn. Maybe we just need to…
ISABELLA
Maybe we just need to WHAT, Jake? Tell him it’s not his fault? Tell him it was her decision? Tell him there’s nothing he could have done?
JAKE
I was going to say maybe we should leave him alone.
ISABELLA
ALONE? Then next thing we know, he’ll be doing the same thing…
JAKE
Good grief, calm down -- not ALONE alone -- just back off of this get over it stuff for awhile. I mean maybe all he needs is a little sp-
(sees Danny approaching)
HEY buddy—ready to go get some chow?
DANNY
Yeah, what are we Bruffing today?
JAKE
Red beans and rice, Danny boy. Let’s get over there before they’re all gone…
Jake hurries off but Isabella grabs Danny.
ISABELLA
Look, Danny, I don’t mean to be so harsh with you. It’s just hard for me to see you like this. Sooner or later you’re going to have to accept the fact that Becky is dead. She can’t come back. Tulane is a wonderful place, and you could have a lot of fun here if you really wanted to.
DANNY
It was supposed to be our place. She was my Tulane. Can’t you understand that?
ISABELLA
Of course I can but as hard as it is to imagine, you can find someone else to fill this void, someone who can make you whole again.
DANNY
It’s not that easy. You can’t understand what we had together. You can’t understand what it’s like to see the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with hanging from the ceiling.
ISABELLA
I know that, Danny. I’m… I’m sorry I yelled at you earlier. Don’t ever think I’ll stop caring about you, no matter what- I always will. I’m going to call a counselor for you.
DANNY
No shrinks.
ISABELLA
But Danny—I just…
DANNY
Yeah I know what you just- no shrinks.
ISABELLA
Just one time. For me, Danny. Please.
DANNY
I can’t… I can’t promise you anything but…
ISABELLA
Just think about it okay?
DANNY
Okay.
JAKE
(far away)
Are you two coming?
DANNY
You’d better go with him. I’ll… I’ll get something later. I hope you can understand.
ISABELLA
Of course. I guess I’ll see you later then.
DANNY
Yeah. Later.
Danny turns and walks back into his dorm as Isabella walks away.
SCENE III
Danny is walking up the stairs back to his room. (singing My Blue Heaven)
DANNY
(walking and singing)
You turn to the right… you’ll see a little white light. That leads you to my…
CAMERA FOCUSES ON THE INSIDE OF THE DORM ROOM DOOR FROM THE BACK WINDOW OF THE ROOM. DANNY ENTERS.
DANNY (CONT’D)
(still singing as he settles himself)
Be happy in my -- blue -- heaven.
Danny flops down on the bed. Danny raises the sheets up and begins talking to himself.
DANNY (CONT’D)
They say you can’t come back, they say you’re not real- but I see you. I know you’re there.
Danny lowers the sheets and the ghost of Becky appears.
DANNY (CONT’D)
JESUS CHRIST! I’m never going to get used to that.
BECKY
(monotoned)
She wants you for herself.
DANNY
What?
BECKY
The girl, Isabella. She wants you for herself.
DANNY
What makes you say that?
BECKY
Do you want her too?
DANNY
Of course not, I would never…
BECKY
You are mortal, and you are weak. It is bound to happen some day.
DANNY
Maybe she just wants to help me move on with my life.
BECKY
And what does that entail? Will you tarnish our love so quickly? Did you learn nothing from my death?
DANNY
Maybe chance is the only way for a tormented soul to find release.
BECKY
No. You are mistaken. Chance is for the weak. Death is your only release.
DANNY
If I didn’t believe otherwise I would surely be dead by now.
BECKY
Yet deep down, you know you shall never have your release until you are.
DANNY
I find it fascinating that a seemingly inert spirit with every intention of tormenting me for the rest of my life would wish for such a thing. Is it not more entertaining to your miserable existance simply to ruin the life you could have made so sweet?
BECKY
Perhaps whatever fraction of my soul that remains wishes to know what made me love you so much in life. For now- I feel nothing.
CAMERA FOCUSES IN ON DANNY AS HE APPEARS TO BE THINKING ABOUT THE GHOST’S LAST STATEMENT VERY CAREFULLY. HE TURNS BACK OVER AND LOWERS THE COVERS TO REVEAL AN EMPTY BED.
DANNY
Maybe I don’t either.
CAMERA PANS OUT WITH DANNY LYING ON HIS BED, STARING UP AT THE CEILING.
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July 28, 2006
Deleted User
I’m stumpt for a title as well…hmmm..I don’t know- I did enjoy reading this though and it should tranfer to the screen nicely- keep it up & good luck with the title search!
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call it College Dillema? Yeah just a shot in the dark, try it on for size maybe it will work? Very nice script. I love the plot. I wish i were at your college watching that. You could be a great writer someday.
You have a challenge here because your opening subject matter is very dark. You have to be careful when trying to strike the balance between what is happening to all the other characters in their reality and what is happening with your lead character. I don’t yet have a clear sense of whether or not you are making the interaction with Becky a psychological phenominon to the lead character or if is supposed to be really happening (like that of Nate and his father in 6 Feet Under and between Sydney and her mother in Providence). I feel like I want to have some clarity on how the main character perceives these interactions with the “other side”. By the way, you may want to try catch John Edward Cross Country for some perspective on how some of these interactions apparently play out. I think it runs on WE network on Friday nights.
Perhaps a name could be “Channel Surfing” (like channelling from the other side”) or maybe “Evolve” which would touch upon any other growth that may occur in any other character in the story.
A good start but does need to be flushed out a bit more, which I am sure you are planning to do.
I liked the idea, but there appears to me to need more stage direction, to tell us where the camera was and everything, but besides that technical mumbo-jumbo. It was interesting. As far as a title is concerned, i can’t think of a good suggestion cause i don’t know the angle of the rest of the series, but good job.
Well I have to say, this episode is better than the third that I read previously. I’m not sure what your assignment is, so again, take this with a grain of salt. I worked in network television for four years and the main thing that stood out for me is that the episode doesn’t seem complete. Each episode of a show should have an individual event (or two) of some kind that is central to the action of that particular section of the overall story. I realize that in the initial episode of a series, exposition needs to take place, which you do well here. I just wonder if there isn’t more action that could be incorporated that get’s the events rolling a little quicker. Just a suggestion, and again, please take it or leave it.
A good principle of screenwriting is to ensure that every scene has an emotional arc, whether for the plot or a character. Beginning on a positive note and ending negative, or vice versa is what keeps an audience interested, and if done well, fascinated.
The abbreviated conversation between Isabella and Jake is very good – it is lifelike.
The Becky character has me absolutely riveted. Was she jealous when alive? Did she change with her death? Was her death the result of Katrina and, if so, did her ghost exhibit such wanton disregard for Danny because of the iniquity of her passing? Did her soul mix with the other ghosts of New Orleans into a rage-filled stew?
There are many directions to take this, but I would start by making an emotional arc to the first scene. It starts out negative – could you make it end just slightly on the uptick? The audience would then want to know what happens next.
Not as good as its successors but still a fine way to introduce the story. I think it sets up for some good potential here. Keep it up.
It definitely kept my attention. I like that you let out the story and plot a little bit at a time beginning with Isabella on the bed. I find it kind of interesting that she is pestering him from the moment he wakes up… It makes me wonder what happened the night before between them (I don’t mean sex, though, just to be clear).
Before the very end, my opinion was that it was very good subject material, but put too bluntly. Maybe a little too spelled out a little too quickly… but I think that would work better in a novel or a short story… or better yet, maybe a play! Anyway, by the end of this I was satisfied with the flow and I also take into account that there are more “chapters” (scenes, parts, whatever) I have yet to read in order to make my final opinion.
But great work, great story and can’t wait to read the rest when I get a chance!
Very interesting story. It intrigues me to see where you will take this in the next part(s). I find it to be very well written and easy to read and follow along with. As for a name for your play how about “Hollow” used in the context of how your character Danny is feeling inside from the apparent suicide of his girlfriend. Just a suggestion. Keep writing, you are very good.
Hey Dan, I really like this script especially how he reacts to the ghost. I just hope that Tulane TV is able to offer like 12 grand to keep you from shopping the story to NBC since they are dying for some decent shows.
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