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Poetry / Sweet Dreams
I use the cover of the night to shield my dreams
Fantasies
At night I put the sugarplums to bed and let the black cat prowl
Stalking the sweet dreams like raw meat dripping with blood
They devour them
Turning my thoughts once more
From sweet kisses of my lovers lips
To vampires lust filled bites
My eyeslids stutter and twitch as I sigh aloud
But those felines counter my pain
Drowning it out with purrs
Trapped
Cornered by these hungry monsters
I close my eyes
Squeeze them tight and scream at the top of my lungs
“Wake Up”
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Another way of looking at nightmares? Description was good and it kept me wanting to read more.
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Vivid and powerful. Am I right in assuming this poem is about some kind of sleep paralysis? You capture the urgent need to escape from the sights and sounds shuttered behind the eyes, in the mind, and also show how quickly sweet dreams can turn sour. I really connected to this poemm Well done.
xxx
This poem gives emotion and descriptors to nightmares. Or what I assume are nightmares. You have defined the dream process wonderfully. You use wonderful metaphors to describe the different transitions. They work toward the advantage of the piece.
Interesting lucid dreaming description. Kitties are great aren’t they?
This is really good, I like the creative relevance between night, cats, vampires, and the overall theme portrayed here.
“night to shielded my dreams” – Just make it “shield”
“My eyes lids” – “eyelids”
“Trapped cornered by these” – Add a comma after “Trapped”
Well, must have been a weird dream, the only thing I didn’t like was the use of “vampires” and “blood.” Good luck though.
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