Poetry / Text Messages

I like how these are different little poems, yet they all seem to run, or ‘flow’, into one another quite nicely. I also like how you can send your best friend a little poem through a test message anytime of the day haha. Very cute. Clever title, too. Keep it up!

Take Care and God Bless,
Sarah-Joy

Oh wow, I love your style! But I don’t really understand the connection between the piece and the title, except, perhaps that one line, “U can’t hear the person next 2 u”. But that’s a pretty cliche correlation to text messaging. Wish I understood, though—makes me a bit frustrated considering it’s so good.

Your style is one of a kind, I really enjoyed your collection.  Your imagery is great, it paints a mosaic of colors in my mind, i.e “church bells” etc. but you craft it so you it doesn’t overindulge in detail, only enough to tickle the senses.  I liked it.

At first I thought it was all one poem! But then I reread everything and noticed you said they were all little ones. I like Kansas and Sparrow the best. But I didn’t like CUSTOMER SERVICE
1 CALL CENTRE  as much as the others. Over all they were very well done.

Hi again,

Darn! I wish you had posted these separately. You write with confidence and style, and all of these works are very visual.

I particularly loved these:

A moment on the lips, On something, and One for the road.

More, please!

Mo

i have to say…i like the words you use and how you use them…each snippet of this poem was a great read..perfect 10’s across the board…but…how it all ties in…i have no idea…what inspired each heading..i can guess on some…remain clueless on others…and the title was the most confusing of all…what did any of the poem have to do with text messages? i can interpret some of the poem…you have my condolences on the call centre enviro…been there done that…quite recently, in fact…the sparrow is gorgeous…i actually really like this poem….enough to add it to my favorites…i just wish i understood it a bit more…

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August 12, 2006

by KisaMogwai

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i reread these as separate poems and now i have a few more favorites…other than sparrow and peacocks..my favorites are: On Something, A Moment On The Lips, and One For The Road…great writes..

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Everything about this is just stunning. I first smiled when I read the author’s note, it reminds me of a friend who yelled over the phone, I always said “You have to yell ‘cause I’m so far away, huh?”.

Mmm..I love how you’ve arranged this in delicious bitesize pieces. They’re like those tiny Halloween 3 Musketeers bars.

A perfect picture is painted in the fewest strokes possibly. Perhaps because I long for simplicity in my own self that I love concise poetry. There’s just enough nails here to hold it in place but still leave plenty of attention for the woodsturdy words. Every line is poignant and speaks volumes without having to be volumes themselves.

My absolute favorite lines:

FILM
I’d seen before,
so I watched it
turning in my seat
through you: your face,
caught, edged in silver,
a smile
opening your profile.

and

A MOMENT ON THE LIPS
I buy a bar of chocolate from the machine.
Then another. Why not?
It’s the best thing that’s going to happen
for the next four hours.

and then

DOUBLE
The new bed
in my rented room.
I reach across
into the space
for shoulders,
a waist.

You’ve made every day life such an amazingly beautiful experience. These are moments worth sharing, and you definately chose the perfect words to express them.

Thank you for writing this, I am definately looking foward to more of your work!! In fact, it’ll probably end up being another addiction of mine.

Particularly like ‘One for the Road.’  There is a lot of good and a lot of average here.  I am assuming these are designed to be text messages.  Seems most people here are interested in sharing profane dung verses art.  Would prefer it this way.  However, what might be very interesting with this piece is to mold it into a seeming disconnected collection only to find out that it, in fact, is innertwined.

I loved it.  It is so simple yet so much is said…it’s great…each passage simeple…creative, expressive….bravo.  I think you have a wonderful piece and the organzation of this is well also.

I liked it…very different.  Although it made me feel a bit dumb for I wasn’t sure what you were going for here.  It just is a very different work/style I have not seen before.  Several journal entries or something.  Kudos for the post and it’s unique form.