Poetry / Pinocchio and the Blue Fairy

I have to say I completly enjoyed this. I love how the symbolism and the literal sense both work. The last line is my favorite!

Well crafted. I like the imagery/symbolism in this piece. Perfect Bite of poetic angst. You kept it focused and the imagery is constant through out.

First can I congratulate you on a brilliant premise.  The foundation is very sound and as a result the poem shines.

I loved so much of the imagery in this piece and read it with the mischievious smirk of a little boy reading his dad’s playboy.  The language is wickedly sophisticated and the images deliciously fantastic (the second stanza in particular).

I did feel that the pace of the poem varies a bit and while this fluctuation works up until the last two stanzas, I felt that the build up to the ending (I suspect the last few lines came before much of what precedes them) was hampered by the poet rushing to get there. I think that the last verse is perhaps just a bit long and could do with splitting, or perhaps the piece needs a little more on the whale and what it represents, but all in all this is a wonderful poem and I would love to be first to read any redraft that ever materialises.