Good suggestions. And they help shorten the piece, which is even better. Glad you liked it. Thanks for the nice review.
Short Story / Looking Glass
She still had a handsome form, especially for someone her age, though her features long ago had melted and congealed around the edges. That’s how she knew the mirror was a liar. Actually, it was that other woman, no more than a girl really, that convinced her of the truth. She looked over her shoulder, making sure the jackass was still watching her. He was. With deliberate care, she dropped another one of his precious tomes into the weather-beaten cardboard box she’d picked up next to the dumpster behind the Pick-N-Choose grocery. Let him watch.
“Lucille…”
She answered him with a silent, upheld hand. She grabbed another tome and placed it into the box.
The voice from the mirror entreated her again. “Lucille, we have to talk about this. We can’t just…well, this isn’t the way to resolve things.”
“There’s nothing to resolve.” Lucille’s voice seared with bitterness. “I am ending our association, Mr. Magic Mirror.”
The mirror’s voice sighed and paused before continuing. “You don’t really mean that. Think about what you’re saying.”
“I have. I’ve given the matter much thought and I realized that I no longer wish to share my life with a conniving, opportunistic, emotional predator like yourself.” Lucille turned to face the mirror. Her arms bent towards her middle, her hands grasping her waist like claws.
The face in the mirror blanched. “You’re angry. I understand that. I was wrong to take an interest in Miss White.” Lucille started to protest, but the mirror cut her off. “But…but you must understand that it really was only a professional interest.” A roll of packing tape slammed against the mirror’s surface, rattling the voice into silence.
“Stop lying to me!” Lucille now appeared on the verge of tears. “You know what the worst thing about all of this is? The worst thing is that I think you actually believe this…this…” She couldn’t finish her thought. It was too painful. “Consider this your pink slip. We’re done.”
Lucille finished packing in stony silence. The mirror’s pleas for reconciliation fell on deaf ears. The magic books, the crystal ball, the eyes of newt, the potions and poisons, and all of the other magical bilge went into battered produce boxes and then into the back of the minivan. Finally, after being covered by a sheet, the mirror went in last.
.................................
The mirror, hanging from a new perch on the wall of the thrift store, watched Lucille walk out of his life. Despair fogged up his consciousness. He considered winking out forever until he noticed the graying, stately woman admiring his golden, gilded frame.
Not much of a looker, he thought to himself, but she could do. Putting on his biggest smile, he introduced himself to her. “Hello, beautiful. Who’s the fairest one of all?”
.................................
Copyright ©2006 by Stephen Pool
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
PoeticSydrome reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
wow, I really liked this, even it if was short. It made me laugh because of him “supposedly cheating on his former owner Lucille to someone named Miss White.” Obviously Snow White. I’m guessing Lucille might be a different version of the Wicked Queen? Appearantly once you cheat, you can stop even after the one you love is gone as represented when Lucille walked out on him at the thrift store and he noticed an old woman. Nicely written and I love the morality of the story here. I believe this has become one of my favorite short stories. Have you thought about showing Miss White’s side of the story. Even though we already know what it is. Just a suggestion. Good job and keep writing!
- add/view comments (3)
fourtwenz reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
This 9 word review has not been unlocked.
katytron reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
Oh, how I enjoyed this piece. A dialogue between a jilted woman and her magic mirror could have ended up a complete disaster. It is, however, magnificently paced, with perfect dialogue. I love the ending. The mirror practically waggles his enormous eyebrows with sleaze.
One thing, though. Can a voice radiate? Maybe it can, but I always thought that bitterness would bubble. Possibly eminate, but there is definitely some paint-stripping effects going on there.
Also, I found ‘those precious tomes he valued so much’ a little cumbersome, and would suggest changing it to the vindictive, poisionous, and ultimately bitterly clipped “his precious tomes”.
Best use of the phrase ‘magical bilge’ I’ve ever seen.
Showing 1 - 3 of 3
Review item
Add to favesCreator
Relevant Links
Item Stats
GENERAL
3 Reviews 5 Comments
Version 1
Latest Activity: about 1 year ago
REVIEW QUEUE
Appeared in Queue: 0 Times
Skipped: 0 Times