thank you for your review and noticing the consistency, and for your insite into this poem..it’s funny how you say it is vague..yet you seemed to pick up on the poems’ entire meaning.
Poetry / Pondering Thoughts
Sitting, gazing, into the darkened depths,
seeking answers, to secrets kept.
Lurking in disguise, hiding,
seeking our riding,
Fly Away.
Frustrations’ gloom is beneath the surface,
twisting loves’ need and purpose.
Wanting, needing, hearing, stay
forever, just today,
Never go.
Gazing through blissful skies, now awakened,
past regrets, of love forsaken.
With certainty we know,
there’s no glow,
All Alone.
Like rotting wood, in our floor,
whatever was, is no more.
We have now grown,
hard like stone,
Far Apart.
Thinking, beginning, a brand new start,
Choosing pieces, of my heart.
Which ones to keep,
should I leap,
In again?
Arorasky, 06©
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debby_GREENEYEZ reviewed Version 1 -
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I enjoyed this piece it says in 100 words
what some people never figure out. Very nice job.
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jungsnkim reviewed Version 1 -
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I give you a 9 because I wish I could write my stanza with the consistancy you have written this poem. Content is vague but thats what I like about it and that it is a personal reflection of you, great way to depict depression, gloom, love lost and making it back again to do it again.
Gabe reviewed Version 1 -
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The form you’re using made the piece sound a little choppy. Between the rhyming and the line length, it doesn’t leave much room for really painting a clear picture. I got the general idea of it, but the form distracted me from really getting anything else out of it. Also some of the lines just don’t really make sense to me. Such as:
“Lurking in disguise, hiding,
seeking our riding,
Fly Away.”
backtodisaster reviewed Version 1 -
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Wow, thats all I can say. I can relate to this piece. If I’m reading into it right, I get a feeling of dispair. But aside from that, a slight feeling of hope at the end. The question at the end is something that everyone should ask themselves. See, I have been through the same things. I have asked myself the same question a few times. Is it worth it, is love worth it? Good Job.
Seasdaday reviewed Version 1 -
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Oh the Heart, the most common theme in poetry. I have no words to give you. I have a hard time evaluating Poetry, for the reason that it is from the deepest places in ones heart and mind. And I don’t think that one should ever comment other than I like it or I don’t. In this case I do indeed like it.
Zenicia reviewed Version 1 -
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i hate broken hearts, they are the hardest to deal with and make you want to hold on to what destroyed you, choosing what parts to keep is the hardest. let go. and you always have to love again, i feel like this would be a good spoken pieces.
a_bittersweet_tragedy reviewed Version 1 -
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This is a lovely piece, I must say. It has great structure to it, and it is easy to follow along with. However, I just didn’t care for the ending of each phrase. If you could, try and go back and make it rhyme with the first two lines of each stanza. That might give it an even better structure and would make it more enjoyable to the reacher; more pleasing to the ear to read outloud.
Suz reviewed Version 1 -
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My favorite verse is #4. Great analogy.
PoeticalAddendum reviewed Version 1 -
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A nice poem. I can not say much bad about it. I enjoy visually stimulating structure in poems. The images are solid but you may want to tweak a word or two. not much i can say about this one.. Perhaps it is time to sleep..I’ll read it agian when I’m more awake and comment.
IrishChick reviewed Version 1 -
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You did a good job with this one – I particularly liked the way you had us stop at each word to imitate the thoughts in your head. I’d suggest either having the last two words of each stanza capitalized or lowercase, but not hapazardly capitalized.
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