Thanks, I think I try to paragraph it out the way I want it to “sound” to the reader…but, yeah, you’re right.
Thanks,
Michelle
Journalism / Potty Mouth - What the F@#%!
Potty Mouth, what the F&@%!
Yes, it was just a slip of the tongue, but it may has well have been the shot heard round the world.
In a semi-private moment George Bush, while lunching in St. Petersburg at the Group of Eight summit was just shooting the S%$# with British Prime Minister Tony Blair and then somehow World War 3, or 4 depending what party you ask, broke out.
True, that most career politicians know to keep the naughty words in check when they’re at a summit that’s being so closely covered by the media. Let’s face it, since the topic of the summit was the hell breaking out in the Middle East like locusts and frogs and not how to keep Howard Stern from talking about his penis, who the F&@% was even thinking about profanity?
But there it was – out there like a purple camel in the desert, the word that could upon being spoken bring down the insurgents and make the infidels spontaneously combust—SH&$!
Ironically it was just a few months ago when the President signed an amendment to stiffen penalties about profanity that may be broadcast to our virgin ears, the Broadcast Decency Enforcement Act. Upping the ante from $32,500 per violation to $325,000, wholly SH&$. Please FCC, oh wise ones, please protect us from all this SH&$.
However the President did make this statement as he signed over more of our rights to make our own claims on what we may deem indecent.
“The best way to do that is for parents to be vigilant, pay attention to what their children are doing. One thing they can do if they’re worried about people watching a bad program is turn off the TV. That’s why they put the “on”-“off” button there.” – George Bush
Really, what the F&@%!
Can the American parent really handle this kind of decision-making?
After all these are the people that upon hearing the news about the President’s little accident, made it the topic of water cooler discussions. It brings back memories of Bevis and Butthead, remember when the used to say stuff like, “AHH, she said, Bangkok.” Duh.
On top of all this is the President is handing out accolades like freaking lollipops to Congress who he said, worked hard to get this bill passed.
Could someone tell these people on the hill that there’s a war going on and we’re topping our tanks off at over three bucks a gallon.
This reeks of his dad’s flag burning issue in the early 1990’s. Harry Houdini may have been the master of misdirection but these two have their own three-ring circus going on.
OK, so it’s out there the President has a potty mouth. The only just punishment would be to call his mommy. I think it may go something like this:
First she hears the reports on CNN that her son used the “S” word and in public no less.
Now, the SH&$ really hits the fan. Barbara jumps aboard Air Force 2, her destination, St. Petersburg Russia. Armed with a F&@%ing bar of soap to do what every good upstanding American mom threatens to do.
And standing at the door to the G8 summit you won’t be hearing her calling him Mr. President…she may have done that, privately, with George senior, but hey what happens in the F&%ing White House, stays in the F&%ing White House.
Or maybe, just maybe it doesn’t.
So let that be a lesson to the George Bush, even when you are the president, you can’t get away with any SH&$.
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nickdngr reviewed Version 1 -
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This is hilarious! I laughed aloud and, as I have a tendency to do, shared it with a few people here in the office to enjoy.
I would change a few minor things to stick to the editorial format.
In this paragraph: “The best way to do that is for parents to be vigilant…” I would change the ” – George Bush” to “Bush once said” or something of a similar nature to give it proper attribution.
You also said that he was handing out accolades. To give more weight you should cite sources to support that.
I would say you are right on the cusp of being a really good editorial satirist. Keep it up!
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dark_angel_826 reviewed Version 1 -
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Congratulations! I am glad to see that someone pointed out the parental inability to make a simple decision to benefit their children. Sometimes I feel like our entire society has the IQ of a lemur. Anyways, good job and keep reporting the inane news of this country.
Mews2furry reviewed Version 1 -
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This is good. It’s funny, It’s concise. Maybe tooo many WTF’s…that point is given a couple times throughout. The banter is fun. Well done. I didn’t notice any grammar problems.
the_engaged_few reviewed Version 1 -
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Very funny. I liked this a lot, although “wholly shit” should be “holy shit” and I would give it it’s own sentence rather than put it at the end of one as you did. I like your word choice, too, especially “purple camel.” I bet this piece got a lot of positive responses.
You also have a lot of paragraphs here that would be better put together into larger ones, since they seem in places to be discussing the same thing, such as the three paragraphs discussing the American parent, beginning with “Really, what the…” and ending with ”...she said Bangkok.”
Thanks for the funny read.
fireballems reviewed Version 1 -
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i guess this is a comedic article. Because in true journalism you arent supposed to put in your own feelings.
this sentance:
After all these are the people that upon hearing the news about the President’s little accident, made it the topic of water cooler discussions.
is very awkward.
I think this is good though. It is well structured and well done. I like how you introduced the moment first. drew the reader in.
claudianizia reviewed Version 1 -
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Hilarious subject. The Beavis and Butthead mention is great, brought me memories too.
Nice to read something interesting.
Suz reviewed Version 1 -
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Very humorous. Sharp, witty, sarcastic, you made your “F&%ing” point.
And along the way, helped to keep some perspective.
sithhound reviewed Version 1 -
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This sh&$ is some seriously funny sh$&, no sh&$. I love sarcasm.
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