Poetry / Beyond Belief

Why thank you. It’s a rough draft of a story I heard about an accomplished pianist who had two small children and eschewed all medical help because of religious regions and chose death rather than fighting to live, and it was a horrible death and she had so much to live for. The underscores were the code in the old Urbis to make italics, when it was migrated the code popped up but not the italics, oh well, I need readdress this poem again, it’s been sometime as it’s not quite finished and has flaws…but thank you for your kind input as always! :)

Thank you for reading and commenting!

I just came across your review that was hidden for some reason and I appreciate your insight and comments. This is an early draft and a bit of an experiment, the odd underscores were code in the old Urbis to make italics that didn’t translate into the new Urbis. I appreciate all that you said and will think about your words when I next do a revision. Thank you. Sorry this is so late in coming. willow-wren

no problem. i’m glad you found my grumbling and nit-picking helpful.

Are you trying to tell me what poetry is or is not? That is rather presumptuous of you and everything I post here is a work in progress, just to see how it floats. This is a dramatic dialogue, alas, the italics didn’t come through when the old Urbis switched over to the new Urbis, only the code survived. Who cares what the house was, it seems only you do. Granted it needs revisions, but come on, should I say the sprawling gray ranch house with white lattice trimming, would that make you happier? If you can’t give constructive criticism, or if you don’t understand the poem’s intent, then why bother wasting my credits with idle chatter? I shall look at your work and see if it’s any better.

Long time away, just because of this kind of dialouge.
Perhaps I should forget the training I received and just say great lines, original expression and then give a rating of ten. Frankly, I would rather not encounter this kind of effort or writer.  I am back because of the pro data feature; I can screen my involvement.  
In the future, just don’t open my reviews, I shall surely avoid yours if they come up.  We can agree to ignore each other.  That way you won’t have to tolerate my input.

Never false praise or words from a sycophant, however constructive in ways that help clearly and not aggrandize the critic as if he knows more than the poet and does not see the experiment at hand. To demean someone of my background and abilities is like telling me more showing not telling, as if I were your underling, it’s not what you say, but how you say it that I took umbrage with, a supercilious attitude to my work.

I guess you are correct:P

are you sticking your tongue out at me? is that what :P means? lol!

Here is a detailed comment:

She waited too long,
left two small children,
a husband, and a concert grand.

Did she play?

Yes, at life, in between the Mozart and Chopin,
but she never tasted caviar, champaign
Or romantic mountain retreats,
Her actions remained unquestioned, unexamined –

She was accomplished,
was she not? It was tragic.

Indulgence in yoga, meditation,
fears of nitrates and caffeine,
a miracle she survived
on blossoms and beans.

But she found solace in prayers,
wouldn’t think of medication.

What did you expect? Way up
on that hill house rather like a crypt; grey, lifeless, victorian
and she so young, such a shame –
she could have lived.

She didn’t.

thank you, now I know better what you actually mean…

it’s supposed to be a dialogue between two people but the code came through for the italics and not the italics so it doesn’t read right, sorry for that. the woman who falls ill is a musician but refuses to seek medical help, thus choosing to die rather than live and take care of her children and continue her life. it’s still in draft form and has far to go. thanks for reading and commenting.

she was a vegan, and this  narrative poem sort of reflects a true story, thanks for reading and commenting!                                  

The underscores were code in the old Urbis to make italics which didn’t translate in the crossover…haven’t fixed it yet. Yes, in a way what you say it’s true, but she doesn’t lament her choice, she dies for her choice, alas.

thank you so much for reading and commenting, it’s an unresolved poem of a woman who chose not to seek medical help for her illness but chose death as a religious belief because she believed faith would heal her. It’s complicated, I know, it’s a rough draft, but again, thank you for your review.

The odd marks were code in the old Urbis to make italics which didn’t go through in the transition so it looks odd, it’s supposed to be dialogue and the odd coded stanzas were to be italics as they once were. This is also a work in progress. Thanks for reading and commenting.