Poetry / Baggage
Most days
I carry
an extra
twenty pounds
on my back.
In an old green knapsack
with a widening hole in the corner
and a broken zipper in front.
The baggage of the
perpetual student.
I carry books and clothes.
Music and lunches.
Fragments of a life
spent in perpetual motion.
When I tire
I set
my burden down.
Would that it were that easy
to set aside my personal baggage.
Emotional wounds never healed.
Fears never overcome.
Regrets never forgotten.
Anger never vented.
Guilt never confessed.
Long-buried skeletons never exhumed.
I must carry
these also.
For I let them
define me.
If I could
but set them down
for a moment
for a lifetime
then would I truly
be free.
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
This 25 word review has not been unlocked.
This 254 word review has not been unlocked.
This 26 word review has not been unlocked.
This 34 word review has not been unlocked.
i like the idea of this piece… the comparison of physical and emotional baggage… the beginning didn’t hook me though… in my opinion a stronger hook to grab the reader
i think you need to express more that the emotional baggage is unbearable… really grab what you feel deep down and write it down
- add/view comments (0)
This is a good piece on the reflections of those things that young people of the world today have to deal with. I like that you can not only see that they have school presures but also emotional pressures and problems. That young people today can have baggage just like those of an older generation is something not many people can understand. Thanks for putting it all into perspective and ito a great piece of poetry. Keep up the good work.
Beth
A different metaphorical twist on baggage using the knapsack for life’s travails but the phrases are clipped and don’t flow and the poem is divided in half. Perhaps if you could have kept up the sparseness of the poem in stanza 5 where you itemize all that beleaguers man, you might have something to work with, but you are changing styles midstream. And if anyone could get rid of the human condition…well, then they wouldn’t be human. Good draft I think, keep working.
Showing 1 - 7 of 7
Review item
Add to faves
GENERAL
REVIEW QUEUE
Ratings & Rankings
