Poetry / Mind

line 1: drop the dots and put a colon(:)
line 4: colon(:) after tricks, period after feel
next line:comma after “and”, comma after “it”Line 8: You’d”(you would) not “you’ll”(you will)
second stanza: same thing(:) and not(...)

All the first words in your line structure need to be capitalize
If you have dots after laugh and cry, you need dots after life and memories because periods are only used after complete thoughts and those lines aren’t sentences.
Second line from bottom: comma after “it”
  Your work has a lot of meaning in it and needs to have the correct grammar.
It would be nice if you could incorporate the fact that the mind, spirit, and soul all work together to form the abstract feelings.

Powerful, thought-provoking writing.  Maybe we will never truly understand our own minds but I like the way you describe the power that it has over us and suggest that it will hold the key to our future.  Interesting poem.
x

Just a stylistic thought:  Try creating the pause that you intend with the ellipsis using spaces or some kind of form.  The ellipsis, I feel, does no justice to the space I think you are trying to create in this poem.  
Also, instead of plainly stating “the mind can play tricks” why not just write exactly what those tricks are, it helps center the reader on a particular specific that they can relate to in some way.

Nice little ditty of a poem.

‘cabinet of memories’...cool. im a bit unclear about the lines containing ‘and yet…’ it throws me off a bit. maybe get rid of them or reword them?

You used the phrase “and yet” incorrectly in both of the contexts within the poem. “and yet” is supposed to mean that the following information would contradict or have orthogonal meaning to the information preceeding the phrase. However, not being able to ‘believe’ and ‘feel’ would certainly make you incomplete, so ‘and yet’ doesn’t make sense. The same goes for the second stanza. The mind being a key to our success is in part caused by the fact that it is a reference to life and a cabinet of memories, not hindered by those facts.

I found the second stanza to be more enjoyable than the first, simply because it contained more metaphors and wasn’t as blatant as the first.

Very cool.  The aesthetics of the poem are great.  Each stanza reflects the previous and that really holds it together.  And you draw these parallels withought repeating yourself.  Of course you were conscience about the pace and tempo and that makes this a very easy piece to read.  Maybe by digging deeper, in requards to one specific issue (like people going mad, or how the mind processes love) you could paint with some darker colors.  I’m not that good with poetry and really enjoyed this read.

good write, thats a good point that our mind does control everything about us, its funny how we forget to think so we can feel.

Beautifully written and clearly put.I enjoyed this line the most :”Our cabinet of memories”
I’ll be remembering those words for along time to come,loved it!

I think it is good but there is not enough or any conflict in it, I want some conflict.