Poetry / Staring at your world

A melody,
far,
whisper of laugh.

Two young lovers,
passionate embraces,
smiles to the time.

I stand,
low head,
staring at the window
of the world you have denied.

You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.

Reviews

September 13, 2006

mikeyrook5

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
77	84.6% (13 votes)	23.4%

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
32	M	Austin, TX	October 31

mikeyrook5 reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

I like the short ones sometimes, especially if they are done prperly, with good unforced rhythm as you have done, since this is so short, its hard to give much criticism back than good, sweet, to the point, effective expression of the sentiment you are going for…well done!
cheers and beers!
mikeyrook5!