Poetry / A Pacific Motion Picture

This was a very good writing in a few ways which I’ll point out first. the flow went along very well and the image you painted throughout was great. The only downfall to me was the emotions or lack there of. I think that you wrote it with the idea of making a good structured writing in oppose to something that shows how you really feel about the situation.

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August 04, 2007

by Dunvegan

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
74	93.3% (15 votes)	21.1%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
38	F	Ferndale, WA	June 07

Starting out as predominately observational, I’m not certain if this pieces has any real emotional direction other than possibly other than a very serene feel to it yet.  I’ll put some thought into your suggestion and see where I can take this emotionally.

Thanks for the read and the feedback.

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I THOUGHT THIS WAS A RATHER UNIQUE POEM SO TO SPEAK, I LIKE IT AND THINK THAT IT ELABORATED ON SOME GREAT KEY POINTS WITHIN!  KEEP AT IT AND STAY STRONG!

Writer of Sea’s Sublime Watching of Conduction,

I love rhyme but that’s absent here,
And so I slowed down my reading,
Your lovely imagery I to peer.

Pistachio pudding foam stopped I to ponder,
What a lovely mind you have,
Writer of Poseidon’s Realm of ocean yonder.

Very Respectfully,

- strangepeade

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August 04, 2007

by Dunvegan

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
74	93.3% (15 votes)	21.1%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
38	F	Ferndale, WA	June 07

Thanks for your read!

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Well…I didn’t get all of it, but enough to decide I like it. I like the title, and some of the other phrases are great. Chomping seaweed cud, pistachio pudding foam, and of course the crisp ozone tonic. You gotta love it. This motion picture is like a documentary with a fantasy twist. Should have a photo to go with it.

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August 04, 2007

by Dunvegan

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
74	93.3% (15 votes)	21.1%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
38	F	Ferndale, WA	June 07

I glad you enjoyed but am actually struggling with this piece quite a lot  I’m not sure where I’m going with it yet as it has currently mophed into this visually/sensually over-stimulated beach walk.

We’ll see were it ends up.

I appreciate your read!  

Coincidentally, I have thought about taking pictures of the scene but I’m not sure if I can post them here (??).

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Semi-ah-moo, Salish? I take it you’re from Washington? Maybe you should revise your notes to say, “If you don’t get it, you’re probably from a different state? Anyways, this has some pretty amazing use of language and imagery. Its almost overflowing (pun intended) with semi-abstract sensory detail. Very unique and creative!

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August 04, 2007

by Dunvegan

personal info reviewer stats

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
74	93.3% (15 votes)	21.1%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
38	F	Ferndale, WA	June 07

A wasn’t certain how important it would be for people to know exactly where the setting was.  On my initial writes, I didn’t even give the name at all but then it really seemed too abstract.  I’m not sure what I’m going to end up doing with this piece but I appreciate your feedback and you read.

Thanks for dropping by.

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