I’m hoping to compile a book of poems and essays about my experience in the UK. It would include this one, the Essay, While Shepherds Washed Their Socks by Night, Lock Ness, the Terza Rima, and at least three other essays I haven’t posted on here yet.
Poetry / Patient
Patient
He snarls go fuck yourself you goddamn Yankee
at me, an intruder in his fortress of piss and stink and cigarettes.
He waves a bony taloned finger, brown with nicotine,
dismissing me of a duty sent down from a power higher than either of us.
You have to have a bath. I say, aware of the humiliation I impose,
I, a twenty three year old American, drawing battle lines once again
in a new revolution against an old English gentleman.
And he cranes his neck like a buzzard, fixes his bird watch on me,
the ridiculous euro-mutt barking at him in ridiculous euro-mutt language.
He wrinkles his nose in disdain, waggles his two arrow-fingers
“Leave my fucking life alone.”
And I wish I could.
I wish I could step back
before the threshold of the psych-ward door,
before the boundary of lost and broken people,
before the reality of true helplessness sets in.
I wish I could step back,
to let him remain forever there, locked in his mind
and perched in the nest of his own strange and squalid dignity.
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October 05, 2006
Deleted User
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He snarls “Go fuck yourself. You goddamn Yankee”.
Encased in his piss/cigarettes stink fortress.
And I’m the intruder.
He waves a bony talon-ed nicotine finger
dismissing me …
Prune your words down, distill it out, lump like stuff together, and you will have a class piece of work here.
Trim it down your own way; it will be better than mine.
Oh, yeah, pick up an English hand-book for grammar and punctuation.
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K_J_White reviewed Version 1 -
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Heidith reviewed Version 1 -
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Rangerl reviewed Version 1 -
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Interesting way of looking at the plight of mental patients. I must assume that you have experience in this kind of work…. It gives you an insight into the feelings health workers must experience daily. Good one.
luvbug2090 reviewed Version 1 -
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Wow, I have seen things like this in real life having spent a lot of my time volunteering at hospitals. you really hit the mark with this one beautiful job.
Brainy reviewed Version 1 -
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i really like catchy opening lines like this one :
” He snarls go fuck yourself you goddamn Yankee . . . “
it catches my attention and makes me want to continue to read the piece .
X_ash_X reviewed Version 1 -
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that was really good. it sounds as if you’re having some struggles in life or with a job and may be you are having some regrets…or may be you just felt like writing something but nothing really in particular. either way, it was very good and extremely detailed. the descriptions were excellent. i enjoyed it, thoroughly.
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