Poetry / Yellow Brick Road

This was fairly good. I liked the reference to Dorothy and Oz as opposed to standing before the gates of heaven. Some have that longing to pass itno death where they will go into heaven, but some are to afraid to die. So they always ask what if? There were only a places that bothered me.  In this line you missed a word “That leads to a place of endless dreams.” You should also reword the last two lines so they aren’t too woordy. Otherwise, good job. And keep writing!

very nice. i liked how all the paragraphs rhymed the wya they did execpt for the last one. but, i didn’t like how the last one rhymed because it didn’t have the same flow as the other ones. i like this because i never read a poem comparing things to the wizard of oz and the yellow brick road. what also makes it interesting is that its kinda sad. when i think of the wizard of oz, i think of a happy ending and smiles and crap like that. but your poem ends with “And those golden gates, that promised a future so well,
Suddenly looks very much like the fearful gates of Hell.” Makes me think what if the which killed Dorothy or something. very cool, very creative. bravo. keep writing, youre very good.   : ).

I like the use of they hypen in the first stanza, it adds enphemis and make contradition, not many people can use these correctly.  Good Job.

In the second stanza
“Living a life: afraid.
Lonely, afraid— a life I hate.”

The second afraid should be changed, it just seems that it is taking away when you could add a much more descriptive word since you had already used afraid once before.

One more suggestion:
Instead of
“So here I stand, in a place in which I hate,
Staring down a path to which I’m afraid to take.”

Try:
“So here I stand, in a place that I hate
Starting down a path that I’m afraid to take”

It seems to flow better to me, just a suggestion though.

Overall good topic, good poem.  I liked it.