Non-fiction / She Was My Bad Habit
She Was My Bad Habit
By Mike Rush
Her name was Diet Coke and I had it bad for her. Often, after working outside until I was sweaty, that glisten on my lean, well defined muscles, I’d think of her and the craving would begin. Ooh, I wanted her in a big way. I’d come into the house and head straight for the fridge, spotting her immediately in there among the others. They would all turn to see who had allowed the draft, who had sent the bright light spilling over the shelves. Yeah, they all looked, but she had “the look.” She was always out front, showing off, seducing me. I was first attracted to her looks, the strong symmetrical curve of her shoulders; her make-up too, those delicate dancing reds and whites.
I’d take her out and close the door behind her; a process we completed thousands of times in which she never looked back. I’d uncap my little bundle, sometimes gently, in an almost maternal manner, while other times rough and athletic. She never seemed to mind, actually relishing my touch however it came.
From the first moment, she would effervesce her greeting, literally bubbling up from deep within her. That dark caramel coloring never ceased to arouse a sensory response, and that scent, soothing, calming, yet inviting. Her aroma filled the room with expectation; but that was never enough for her. She demanded a childish wonder in me. Okay, it was lust.
Once she was poured out, liquid love right from her soul, there was no turning back. I was hooked. This was no crush, it was an addiction. Each time her taste was on my lips her claws further sunk into my psyche. That first cool surge through my chest was intoxicating, exhilarating; every tryst drawing me deeper into her lair, confirming my return for the next one. And me? I did not resist, for I was in love! I was hers and she was mine! I drank her in, my belly swelling with her goodness. I could have her, any time I wanted and as much of her as I wanted for I was totally devoted to her and she to me, or so I thought.
After a few years of chasing her in every new location, meeting up with her in bars, airports, restaurants from coast to coast, I finally came to grips with the obvious. She was giving herself to a lot more folks than me. It was undeniable. She not only had more lovers than I could count, she was constantly seeking to add to her host of conquests. Junkies, that’s what we were. Smitten, humiliated; the repeatedly used and finally abused.
Once my eyes were opened, the scales having fallen, there was no deciding what I’d do. It was decided for me. Like so many others who had walked away from their smokes, their chocolates, I simply walked away from her. The romance was gone. My heart, which once lept at the thought of her, was as still as a mortician’s client. It was over, and there was nothing either of us could do to create even the slightest spark.
I floundered, for awhile, in the wake of that terrible ride. After years in the cola scene, I was dizzy, emotionally disoriented. I figured it would take just as many years to get over her, but then, the strangest thing happened. A newcomer to this town built a coffee shop just down the street from my house. I was on my maiden visit when I first saw her, well actually, smelled her. Who was this pixie whose scent could actually lift me from the floor?
Her name is Jo and she’s from Columbia, and unlike that cold and heartless…well let me just say my new love is warm. She warms me every time we’re together. She’s warm and dark and best of all, she’s rich! Once again, I am smitten.
I found myself making increasingly frequent visits to the shop down the street just to see her. Our relationship is so deep and satisfying. She has been in my home many times; she’s even moved a few of her things over.
Once again, I’m complete. I’m not going to get hurt like last time though. I know she’s seeing others too, but as long as there’s enough of her to fill my cup when I need her, I’m okay with that.
Ooh, I can just tell, we’re going to be together for a long time.
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Okay this is a real cool story. It’s nice because if you take away the coke parts it really sounds like a real person. Good job!
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This was really funny! Something my [future] Creative Writing teacher will possibly make me do. [I’ve heard from her current students that she asks one silly question and gives you the whole class to work on it]
:]
I really appreciate this piece and your style, it’s has a nice flow!I agree with you complete, because a lot people fall in love because a coke!
I can not write about grammar because I’m rookie in English Language.
Keep writing! Nice job!
Aloha!
This was close to brilliant, particularly for a 15 year old. You have a couple of punctuation errors – run-on sentences in particular. “Her. . . Coke, and . . . her.” Also, “sweaty, that glisten” such that drops glistened, or something like that. As is, is wrong. When you introduce Jo – warm in the paragraph 3 times. Different word? Honestly, excellent!
I really love this. I think it is intelligently written and your parallels are phenomenal! I haven’t read anything like this in a while. I thrououghly enjoyed it and I think you should send this to the coke company! It would make a fantastic ad in a magazine or even on the radio. I’m not sure how they would be able to play it on television- but if they could figure it out it’d be worth it.
I enjoyed reading this. I loved when you came to realize that the diet coke was, how did you say it, ”... giving herself to a lot more folks than me.” I like how in the end the circle is basically starting all over again.
Wow, this is terrific writing, not just for your age. Period! It’s probably as good as anything I have read on here. There is some real brilliance in the way you personify diet coke and coffee. “From the first moment, she would effervesce her greeting, literally bubbling up from deep within her.”- Now that is just great writing. This is extremely creative. Whatever you do, don’t stop writing. You have real talent.
Best of luck to you,
Stevie Rey
A great concept and there are some very good lines. Like, ”...she was rich!” I loved that.It was funny. And the chasing her all over the place meeting up with her in bars, etcetera, that was very good.
Rush is a great last name. It goes with the story.
This story relates the process of addiction to love and attachment- sex. It’s a true concept. We have no chance to escape this destiny!!!!!!!!!!!!
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