Poetry / My Ride With the Ferryman
My Ride With the Ferryman
I close my eyes, let out a breath
and release my hold on the world-
goodbye-
soft sigh-
How is it that I’m floating
here above my bed
it’s sure not what I expected
Why, you’d hardly know I’m dead…
Oh hush now, stop your weeping
none of that for me-
I guess that they can’t hear me
they can’t see what I can see-
The veil is drawning back, why it’s
An ocean of violet blue
silent waves they crash and roll,
and then dissolve from view
And there, the boat is waiting, and—
the ferryman, he waves his hand
beckons me to come aboard
the ship to Summerland.
Ferryman, can you tell me
Was the ship sent just for me?
Aye my lassie, that it was
All the way from Tir Na Nog
Now come on, no more hesitatin’
you’ve got family there that’s waitin’
Come on darlin, come aboard
Cause this here ship
it’s all yours
I’ve come to take ya home.
I step aboard, and my how kind-
he takes my hand- says
‘lassie watch yer step, now
turn and wave a sweet goodbye’
and—
He says- this here ship is mine.
And suddenly, the sails they blow
and the waves begin to crash and roll
and we head out over the open sea
I throw back my head and laugh with glee!
Say Ferryman, how can this be?
Cause I feel my youth coming back to me!
Well my darlin, of course you do,
cause this here ship was sent for you!
I laugh and run up to the bow
and grip the rail and shout aloud-
Say Ferryman! Steer my ship right true!
Which way’re we headin’, me and you?
Say Ferryman! Which way seems best?
He shouts back Lassie, we’re headin’ west!
O’er the sea, you and me
Under sun, and moon, and stars
For I’ve been sent to bring ya home
And we must travel right far!
If only they could see me now,
Standing proudly at the bow-
of this great ship,
me without a care!
As the wind, it billows through my hair
and the night sky sparkles above the sea
like diamonds that were flung there-
just for me
Say Ferryman, can ya steer by the stars?
Can ya, in this ship of ours?
I laugh with joy, and ride the waves
through the night so long,
and sing sweet melodies into the wind-
well into the dawn.
Say Ferryman! Can you tell me,
are we nearly there?
Have you steered the ship a’right?
through the long and starry night?
Say, am I nearly home?
Say Lassie, that ye are!
We’re nearly there now, it’s not far-
Look up darlin! Can you see
the white gulls circling o’er the sea?
Those gulls, each day play in the sand
on the shore of the Summerland!
Keep a watch now, it won’t be long
listen to the white gulls song,
Look! They’re flying to let your loved ones know
That you are here,
You’re nearly home!
And then suddenly I see the shore
and upon it, those who’ve gone before
Say Ferryman! How can this be?
They’re all here; they wait for me!
Of course darlin! I told you this-
who do you think sent me through
the mist, and across the sea
to carry you home?
Darlin, you’ve never been alone.
Ferryman, can you tell me
Was the ship sent just for me?
Aye my lassie, that it was
All the way from Tir Na Nog
Now come on, no more hesitatin’
you’ve got family there that’s waitin’
Come on lassie, come aboard
Cause this here ship
it’s all yours
I’ve come to take ya home.
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This is a very good piece of work. The story flowed well and was easy to follow. I really liked how you put a lot of sensory feel to it – describing how things looked, felt, smelled, etc. It gives your reader a great visual for what you’re describing.
The only thing I would suggest though, is to make the rhyme pattern more fluent. It was kind of difficult to follow when the rhymes changed and such.
Other than that, it was a great piece. :) I enjoyed it.
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Wow. That was quite good. I started to get that this was in the afterlife just shortly after I began reading, and I had not even looked at the description yet.
It is a very good interpertation of what the afterlife could be like, I never thought of it that way. I like the dialogue a lot. I can almost hear the Ferryman’s voice in my head!
I found this unncecessarily long at some points. I would take a hard look at this and figure out what you could trim down. Repetition is nice but I think reusing the entire fourth stanza as your closing stanza is a bit much.
I like that you’ve attempted to portay the ferryman with a bit of an irish accent, but I think it could be improved upon. Not something I’d even begin to tell you I am able to do, but I think you’ll will need to be able to if you’d like to see this published.
If I were you, I think I would remove most of the 2nd and 3rd stanza. You’ve got a lovely peaceful description of death overcoming the narrator; go straight from that to the ferryman. Combining the 1st stanza with the last half of the 3rd starting with “and there, the boat is waiting” could work nicely. Perhaps use something that echos the first stanza as your conclusion instead of just repeating the fourth.
The excited questioning nature of the narrator is nicely done. It’s an enjoyable read but I think it neeeds some more work before you could reach your goal of publishing it.
I loved it. It was a beautiful depiction of crossing into the next world. I felt a lot of wiccan/ pagan elements in it. You could totally publish this piece. Keep up the good work, I hope I get to read more.
Nice wiccan imagery. Not sure anyone not familiar with the idea of Summerland…the concept of a place the spirit progresses to once it has gained all the growth it can out of the earthly plane and is no longer reincarnated into it…will fully appreciate what you are doing here.
This is a fun, fantasy like poem. It’s entertaining to read, but doesn’t really sock me in the gut and make me think I’ve been enlightened in some way. So, it’s entertaining to read, but not truly great.
It’s tough to provide you with any feedback on your goal of a collection of your works being published. I’ve read this and one other. The other I know is publishable and ultimately will be published…this one, not so much. Time will tell as the collection grows.
“All the way from Tir Na Nog
Now come on, no more hesitatin’
you’ve got family there that’s waitin’
Come on darlin, come aboard”
My only suggestion is that the “come aboard” changed to “come along”, simply because its what i was expecting with the flow of the piece. But I can also understand why it says “come aboard”
Love it.
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