Stage Play / Let No Man Tear Asunder
(A two bedroom apartment, one of the bedroom doors is visible to the audience KEISHA and SAL are in the living room covering their mouths and noses with clothes sitting on the couch in front of the door. )
SAL
It’s been two days already.
KEISHA
And he hasn’t come out…not even for food.
SAL
Not even to go to the bathroom.
KEISHA
Do you really think he’s dead?
SAL
Take a whiff, what do you think?
KEISHA
Oh my god, I’ve never seen a dead person before, I don’t want to open the door. Just bang on it more, maybe he’s just sleeping.
SAL
For two days?
KEISHA
I don’t know just do it, I would rather him sleeping then dead.
SAL
To make you feel better. (Gets up and bangs on the door) Miguel! Miguel, open this freaking door.
(The door opens, and KEISHA and SAL cringe in reaction to a foul smell coming from the room MIGUEL is not fazed by it at all.)
MIGUEL
Please can you too keep it down, I don’t want to be disturbed.
SAL
What the hell were you doing in there?
MIGUEL
That no question to ask a man on his honeymoon.
KEISHA
Miguel, have you been taking anything… are you …well?
MIGUEL
Well? My dear I’ve never been better, this is the happiest I’ve been in my life.
KEISHA
Why are you so happy, and what is making that horrible rank smell?
MIGUEL
What “rank smell”, I don’t smell anything.
KEISHA
You don’t smell that? Oh Sal, can you close that door please?
(SAL goes to comply but is stopped by what he sees in the room, slams the door and runs back to the couch dry heaving and retching)
SAL
I’m going to be sick, Miguel, what have you done? Oh god what have you done.
MIGUEL
What have I done? I’ve done nothing but receive the most precious gift any man could hope for. She’s beautiful is she not?
KEISHA
Sal, you two are freaking me out, what’s in his room? What’s that smell? (backing away from MIGUEL)
MIGUEL
I thought you wouldn’t understand, but it’s beautiful.
KEISHA
What is he talking about, Sal?
SAL
I’m gonna be sick.
KEISHA
What is in your room, Miguel? Please tell me.
MIGUEL
She’s a gift from Christ himself.
KEISHA
She? Who… What is in your room Miguel?
MIGUEL
My bride, she lying on my bed.
KEISHA
(Looks at SAL get up slowly and opens the door, she steps in, there’s a beat and she screams and runs out hysterically)
Oh god, this is sick, horrible I’m calling the police.
(KEISHA takes out a cell phone and MIGUEL steps to her and smacks it from her hand. She runs to SAL)
MIGUEL
You can’t do that!
SAL
The hell we can’t, I knew I should’ve just let my brother take that room… (To KEISHA) But NO, strangers would pay more. Happy now?
MIGUEL
Don’t scream, you’ll frighten her.
SAL
You’re scaring Keisha, a lot more than my yelling right now.
MIGUEL
Not Keisha, Bethany.
SAL
Bethany?
MIGUEL
Yes, of course she has a name.
SAL
She? You mean the dead bitch on your bed?
MIGUEL
I won’t have you calling her that.
KEISHA
This is madness. What did you do?
MIGUEL
I didn’t do anything, if you must know it happened like this – I was walking home from another date with another heathen whore of New York City and I was just thinking. Lord, just bless me with a wife a good clean woman you know? And suddenly my nose was filled with the smell of roses, it was beautiful, intoxicating. I followed that scent, like Toucan Sam. That’s when I saw the blessed mother, right in front of me on St. Nick and 149th she told me to follow the scent and that her son , Christ had blessed me with a perfect wife. Bethany was on a bench in the park. Wearing a white dress and everything. Just sitting there waiting for me, she was sleeping. She’ll wake up soon. The Holy Mother told me. In three days, that should be right about now. So please don’t yell, I don’t want her to wake up to shouting. Can you two see this is a miracle? My marriage was performed by the holy mother herself, witnessed by a host of angels and arch angles. This is important. The holy mother doesn’t just appear to anyone.
SAL
She was on a taco shell last week …and she shows up for every wacko that wants to see her.
MIGUEL
What happened to your faith, Salazar?
SAL
I have faith in real things, like the straps on the straight jacket they’ll take you away in.
MIGUEL
You should have faith-
SAL
Shut the hell up, there’s a dead girl in my apartment, and you’re babbling about angels and shit. How did you get her in here?
MIGUEL
Like every bride, I carried her over the threshold, and laid her on the bed.
KEISHA
Miguel… we have to call the police, her family could be looking for her.
MIGUEL
I am her family.
SAL
Stop it with that! You crack head, this is the meth talking. You don’t think we could tell that you had a habit?
MIGUEL
I was sick, but the holy mother, she made me clean. Can’t you see that?
SAL
Yeah… fuck this I’m calling the cops. (Stomps over to where the phone has fallen and dials) Crap, you broke it. It’s not dialing.
KEISHA
I’ll use the kitchen phone-
MIGUEL
You don’t believe me either? She told me she talked to you once, I assumed you would believe. She said you called out to her and she saved you –
MIGUEL and KEISHA at the same time
In the park. (KEISHA crosses herself)
KEISHA
How did you know…? I never told anyone that.
SAL
What are you talking about?
KEISHA
When I was twelve, I was playing in St. Nick Park, with my friends, we got separated. This man he grabbed me. I was so scared I couldn’t scream. I begged every saint I could to save me… and then I saw her, in the sun and a tree branch fell and cracked dude’s skull. I ran away and never told a soul. Not even my diary Sal. Not even my mother.
MIGUEL
The Holy Mother said you at first… but she told me that once I told you that you would know that I speak the truth.
SAL
This is retarded. – Oh god that smell- (slams MIGUEL’S door) this is crazy and you goddamn know it Keisha!
(KEISHA kneels and begins to cross herself and repeat the rosary)
MIGUEL
I don’t have time for this, she’s going to wake up soon, and I don’t want her to be alone.
(MIGUEL begins walking to the door, SAL forces him back. The two wrestle and KEISHA says over and over again)
SAL
You aren’t going anywhere you crazy mother fu-
(Miguel’s room door begins to slowly open with a creek and all three of them look expectantly at the door as the stage fades to black)
Curtain.
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This is interesting.
You kept me wanting more and interested throughout the staged play. I was thorouly enthused by it all, but the cuss words sal uses are kind-of harsh. I know this fits the characetr and she is mad, but on stage people don’t want to hear curse words. In movies, people find it alright, but not on stages.
I was confused with the whole Miguel’s bride thing, but that could be because Miguel was high or something, which I was also confused. I felt like alot of my questions weren’t answered by the end of the show. Which I come to my enxt point, you may want to lengthen the play a little bti longer and not end it so abrupt. There were some typos throughout the play, so you may wnat to look back and revise it again (there may also be typos in this cirtque)
Overall it was thoroughly interesting, i justw ant more of it.
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This is definetly an interesting one act play. I like how you have developed the characters to hae personalities and histories and how you leeave the ending by cutting to black. I might suggest maybe a different title if you can find one, and you might want to disscus the relgouis aspect of what you have written a little more.
The two wrestle and KEISHA says over and over again)
Says what?
This is a good play. Kind of like “Everyman”. I like to see plays that deal with religion and the thoughts of others on the topic. i would love to see this on stage. The ending is really good. Don’t change a thing about it and keep writing.
“I them dudes.. “
this is obviously a typo, but I can’t figure out what you meant.
”..KEISHA says over and over again)”
What does she say? Or is she praying?
I reviewed this piece for you before. I like this piece. The situation, though fantasy, is made real by the dialogue between the three principle characters. Again I’m not sure if tis would make for a ten minute play… perhaps a bit short of that mark, but its good.
Combining God with necrophilia is a very slippery slope but you pulled it off well. Gopd job and keep writing!
This is a twisted piece dealing with necrophila and religion. As a writer sitting down to write a theme piece, I’m not so sure I could pull this off. You did and did remarkably well. The characters, minus the dead woman are real and relateable. The situation, not so much. But you brought it all together for a funny piece.
Good job and keep writing.
Definitely an interesting piece. This was well written thoughthe characters could have been flushed out a little more. As for a ten minute play, I don’t see how it lasts more than five, maybe seven if it was stretched. Regardless of the time, you did well.
The topic of it, faith in the most unusal way, was intriguing. Disturbing, but intriguing nonetheless. Good job and I look for better things from you in the future. You did well in this genre of writing. So keep writing.
Absolutely amazing!
I love the religious aspect of it, and the way that all 3 characters are responding to the situation in different ways. All 3 of them, even Miguel, seem real. They are responding to the situation in a real way. I could picture the entire scene clearly in my head from your stage directions. I loved the way Miguel, who is obviously crazy, is the only one acting sane.
The only part that stuck out to me was when Keisha says-“and then I saw her, in the sun and a tree branch fell and cracked dude’s skull”. This girl has just received a huge shock, a revelation, so I don’t think she would be using the word “dude”. Even if its part of her everyday vocabulary, I cant imagine her using a slang word in this situation.
You have your goal as “to get a good grade”, which makes me wonder- are you writing this for a stage class?
Wow! Just plain wow. I get the whole idea, oh man, I wish there was more than just ten minutes. The element of suspense could be cut with a knife! We start to question if our beliefs are nothing but imagination or real. Awsome twist at the end. I HAD to act out this whole piece, it’s very gripping! I thought that Bethany wasn’t going to wake up, but uh oh! Damn awsome job! =)
October 14, 2006
Deleted User
The presentation is well done. I am fond of this type of horror, suspense story, and you pull it off with good writing , fast paced action (even though it’s in the two rooms) and always lingering a little bit. I would like to see more of this it’s a fantastic start to a play.
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