Poetry / Poet's nervous breakdown

your style captures the fleeting glimpses of lives. although it is rather rough i think you could turn this into a very strong poem.

In the foth line, when you say “broken pencil or a torn heart” consider taking out the ‘a’: Broken pencil or torn heart.  
I love line five, the stlye of long lines followed by short ones is very creative.
T he last lines are nice, but I feel like it hass nothign to do with the rest of the poem.  I like the wrod use, but you could do so much more with the situations/ expression/ etc that you’ve placed in here.  A great poem, but it needs soem work.  

I really love the visual of a cat in a tree, because it gives a sense of being alone and helpless.  I find that all your lines are strong, very visual, it makes you think about this life we’re living, and how other people are living it as well.  ”A hunchbacks dream” is so strong because it totaly gives the image of someone either slouching their back from being tired, or what not.  And you work very well with images I would like to see more though, I’m not entirely sure how to explain it, but maybe something more other than images, I don’t get the feeling it’s done yet.  Love the rant, good luck to you.  =)