Poetry / Do You?

It is hard to review poems, when they are real, and personal.  Just like this one, directed to a friend of yours.  That is touching that you would share something like this with him.   It is good, unique and very creative.  I like how you asked questions and then tied them in together at the end.  Very good…

I like the flow of thought and your concepts in the poem.

Somehow the last 3 lines don’t feel like they fit quite right with the rest of the poem.

Also, I think in line 15 you wanted it to end with “granted” instead of grant.

a poem about the insecurity of being a teenager. About bucking the trend of the peer group. A poem written by a leader?
What a rare animal, a teenager who admits to perhaps, not knowing all!
Thankyou for this honest and enjoyable poem. But I feel you didn’t want me to like it.

This piece will make readers have questions, but its what you want so thats a plus. As I read through it I answered the questions. I am glad to see that you did not try to force an answer with them. You get the reader involved , and that is what will keep them reading. I would have to say that the only thing I think you might want to change is the “Do you believe in magic.” Sounds too much like a Ad (I think it is for Disney? You hit on true issues and questions, so I do not think you want to have people think of that first. Maybe you do, not sure. I know everything else was good, a thinker.

I love it, truely lovely wording.

I think this is the second one of your poems I have read today.  You have a distinct voice.

Again this is a piece that I like.
Again, the things that need a little teweaking are just simple.
Granted – not grant.

Like you know it all
I would think about the word ‘like’

The placing of the question marks in here are a little odd, although I’m not sure if they would work any where else.  Maybe they would be better better at the end of each question? rather than after the first part of the question…
Anyway good luck, you’ve got your own style.

I think this piece was interesting, especially because of what it was trying to accomplish. There are a couple of things I think you might want to change to make the poem flow a little bit better. I, myself, am not a big  fan of punctuation and I like how you used it so sparingly here, however, I think you could have timed the way you used it better or re written some of the stanzas for more impact. For example, in the stanza “Do You Live? In this life Or in the future Or possibly in the past Full of history and life,” the ”?” could be placed at the end to indicate the entire section was the question. Or, if you like the ”?” where it is because you feel it adds impact, you could re write it to say something like “Do you live? This life, the future, or possibly the past full of history_” and add some sort of description for what this life the future and the past have in common… so something like “share common ground,” might be appropriate. Just a suggestion! Overall, a very intriguing piece. I look forward to reading more of your work.

I like this. The beginning gives a sense of the wonder that can be part of belief, and I like that the speaker seems to have that wonder even without knowing it all. It gives more power to the final statement.

Good sentiment, but the presentation could use a little work.  Stanza breaks would really help out here; there is a natural place for them if you lead each stanza with the “Do you” questions and then a final one after “like you know it all”.  

Some of the language in some of the lines could be compacted; it feels to long in some places, i.e.:

“And I know
I know although I may not know it all
But I am still full of life
So stop pretending
And be who you are yourself;
Not what your friends are”

You may also want to consider refining the punctuation a bit.

All in all, good work.  I’ll be looking forward to the next draft.

Your opinions come acoss well, a mature view for sure. It could be that the next step is accepting failings in other peoples beleifs, after all everything we know is merely experienced that is to say every “fact” is a perception first.