Poetry / the droppers last breath

the droppers last breath

_-‘

The money
the trail along the Spicket river,
led the way to free wealth.
foot prints in mud.
along the Merrimack..s polluted tributary.
he shook with sickness.
cold
he trudged along.
purse snatch (risky).
stereo( complicated),
he didn’t like to barter.
he prayed for cash$.
he was getting close.
the rusted shopping carts,
wheel above trickling water,
pointed the way.
to the parking lot.
prescription paying thievery.
colder, sicker ,sweating.
and there it was.
the North Andover mall.
“God bless Market Basket”
muttered through chapped lips,
“and the rich bitches with their fat kids.”
He shook.
first step on pavement.
he speed walked towards,
the rows of automobiles.
the junkies bank.
Beemers,
Mercedes.
such wealth,
so close to poverty.
up and down the aisles,
his head and eyes searched.
“no cops!”
holding down vomit (suspicious).
suddenly,
he couldn’t believe his sunk in eyes.
a purse forgotten.
a pocket book on the seat of an Escalade.
his hands shook with delirious withdrawal wonderment.

“Locked”
“fucking non trusting bitch”
(what has the world come too?)
Time was his enemy.
he ran,
using all his strength,
back to the river bank
“come on.”
“a rock!”
“what the fuck just a rock!”
“too small!”
“damn it!”
What’s that in the mud?
handle bars from an old bike
“perfect!”(17 tooth smile)
running,
no fear of law.
wiping mud off hands.
worrying if it was still there.
He could see the shiny,
Cadillac.
panting, double sweating,
he raised his skinny arm and put those handle bars
through the window.

Straps m hand he ran.
“credit cards, cash?”
his mind flickered with excitement.
like a boy on Christmas day.
what was in the Louie Baton?
feet flopping and sucking in the mud he lost a shoe.
not necessary.
he was warm.
excitement.
as his hands fished through the bag,
tossing make up,
tampon,
keys,
cell phone.
finally,
a wallet!
he stopped short.
as he opened his,
bank account.
he puked.
screaming ’’yeah hoo”
“ming. ya $327”
almost enough for two bundles!!!
he danced in one shoe.
looked around and threw the rest,
into the oil slick that slid along the top of the river.
in his back pocket he swore he could feel his needle shake, in its Styrofoam cup.
he was at the park at the end of Abbott St.
he past the swings,
through chain link,
he walked.
his feet,
hit the street.
“almost there!”
“Thank god the state paid his way.” he thought
the third cottage in the back,
asbestos sided yellow
welfare paid abode.
kicked open the door.
to the phone.
sweaty hand grabs beige handle.
fingers ,nail gray numbers.
“At the tone please leave a numeric page”
“686-9740”

...
”’—~
the deal
it would only be minutes now.
fatty Ramirez was good like that.
he knew a fiend would go somewhere else if he wasn’t fast.
Due to the overwhelming competition,
of the drug market economy of Lawrence.
Knock, knock
paranoia and exhilaration.
flung the shade to the side.
“God damn it!”
“Stupid bitch always knows when I’m about to score”
it was sideways Sally.
but just pulling in was fatty.
he followed Sally as she dragged her self in.
up the stairs,
the deal went down.
he cut him two bundles.
for three hundred. {good customer,. got deal)
“see ya fatty.”
They, settled in.

the room
one speaker tape deck radio from the 80..s.
WZLX classics
wire spool coffee table with apiece of old window glass on it’s top.
two plastic lawn chairs.
old mattress.
stained,
cash money come and
and junkies blood.
brown pillow.
pealing paint.
Yellow bulb
Suspended, by
Cob web covered wire
heaven.
sideways sally
crack rock stroke victim,
shut down her whole left side.
twisted glasses gave her sight.
90 pounds she.1ived. on,.
generic cigarettes and strawberry milk.
pulling a cookie from her pocket,
thinking trade (sharing).
Knowing, he didn’t like crack,
like he loved heroin. she said
“I’ll suck your dick for some of that”
’’yjck!’’ he thought.
it would be safer just to give her one.
he hadn’t got it up in years anyways.
fitting a piece of rock into a nip bottle pipe.
flame_{shrunkinto vapor.

breath held, lips numb.

nothing exhaled numb

red face she re filled.. and passed it his way.}

the stuff
“murder bags”
“This is some good h” she said
as he inhaled cocaine’s vigilance
he lit a candle nub,
with matches from the church food bank.
they said, ” know god”
he laughed to himself
I’ll see him soon as he loaded his, spoon.

speckling brown powder on tarnished
upside down reflection.
syringe full of water dripped atop.
held over flame.
boil.
needle submerges.
plunger rises
Sally says “ladies first.”
’’fine!’’.he.says, ..hurry!..
she puts it in the back on her hand.
squeeze,.
smile.
Head rocks, ..and eye..s rOll.
stain grOws on the front of her smelly sweat pants.
“nice” she lights a butt.

his turn (the ritual)
he had a rough day.
he made a good score
“celebrate!” convincing himself
he cut open two bags.
dumped them out.
first looking at sally..
he thought better clean the needle out.
Bleach and water, sucked up into the needle.
shook
rinse with water,
squirt on tongue,
till he could not taste chlorine’s cleanliness.
sally struggled to speak, stammered “needles a bit dull.”
closed her eyes and rubbed her nose..
before he cooked he decided to sharpen his instrument.
scraping it back and fourth just above the staple,
on the striker of those” know god “matches.
he made a fine point..
“Careful” Sally said.
Then threw up into a bucket.
“I’m a professional!” he spouted with anticipation.
’’there goes sickness.”
he thought as the smack bubbled in the spoon.
full throttle syringe.
he needed to find a place to press it into his skin.
his arms hadn’t been good in years.~
his neck one side an abscess,..
the other like Swiss cheese.
his chest!
he tore his yellowed ,
Areosmith t-shirt over his head.
Where his.. shoulder met his pectoral muscle,
stood a vein beckoning,
swelling.
he placed the cold metal point on his skin,
it puckered as he pushed,
pop with a pinch.
hollow metal point inserted into vein.
press,
plunger down.
’’what a day”
Warmth~
In a wind._{~

no more sickness.

softness

stained mattress. He flopped upon.

he sunk,

twenty feet in.

he smiled.

he was happy}
he couldn’t -remember the last time he was happy.
that is when he knew something was wrong.
he heard Sally, saying ..something?..
His heart pounded,
as she grabbed the rest of the murder bags,
the 27 dollars,
the “know god .. matches…
he smiled as he thought of the good time she was going to have.
“Fuck~en bitch!” laughing sarcastic thought.
His chest rose and fell,
rose
and fell,
rose,