Poetry / Sestina

Fermions and quarks bounce endlessly
While electrons travel down recursive paths.
Here entropy is blocked by a strict pattern,
Here Chaos suffers imposed symbols,
Their provenance unknown but divine.
By quantum flickering is God made matter.

Coded thrice, fecundity springs from mere matter.
Four letters Converge And Gather Together endlessly
In tessellations divine.
On courses static as rails, down congenital paths
Travel organic, protean symbols
Generating Eidetic patterns.

Neither off nor on, in dormant patterns
Lie most. Now only the fired matter.
Miles in Asian Symbols,
Axes on Axes, flowing endlessly
In conscious and intelligent paths.
In man awakes a thing divine.

Intent on aural imitation, he crafts a work divine,
He Bahs Aleatory, Creates Heavenly patterns.
Canons and fugues dance melodically down their paths.
Retrograded and inverted, music and emotions spring from matter.
Variations mirroring that which made them; endlessly
In the mind’s lambent rays flows a stream of symbols.

Jumping countless octaves of size to a cosmos of symbols
Music is revealed as yet another step toward the divine.
Nebulous, black, holistic; spiraling upward endlessly
Nature’s leitmotifs follow intrinsic patterns—
Galaxies and quasars, comets’ cosmic matter
On those same familiar paths.

Now the forest reclaims the paths
And from the diffusion of symbols
Comes a unity that eschews all worldly matters.
As corporeal forms dissipate in the presence of the divine
And a speck of unity replaces a web of patterns
A shout of brotherhood resounds silently and endlessly.

And so through paths tangled and by forces divine
Patterns and symbols form, replicate than disperse
And, through quanta flickering endlessly, the matter that makes God mind becomes again matter.

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Daniel_rain avatar General Friend

December 16, 2006

Daniel_rain

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Daniel_rain reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

Very interesting piece. Lots of long words but strong imagery.

Good stuff.

ernesto avatar General Friend

November 13, 2006

ernesto

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ernesto reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

This is the most invasive scientific explanation of the course that life takes,down to its smallest form,maybe that i’ve ever read.This is really a special piece.Other than that,I dont really like sestinas so I’ll assume im not your target audience for this one.

Frogking avatar General Friend

November 12, 2006

Frogking

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Frogking reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

I would not change the words. Let people learn some science. Besides they fit the content. A poem for college professors eh!

Grapetooth avatar General Friend

November 12, 2006

Grapetooth

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Grapetooth reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

Hello me, it’s me again…  I don’t understand; I guess you were just being nice to the first reviewer.  Jargon has its place in literature, as jargon.  Progressive style is scrutinized in any art form.  I guess literature junkies are the main target audience here.  I for one am pleased as fucking punch when I read something as nice as this and have to consult my dictionary.  You get a big 10 muchacho del cocaine.  

Cazzidy avatar General Stranger

November 08, 2006

Cazzidy

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Cazzidy reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

I can probably bet that you lost 90% of your readers within the first couple of lines.  Poetry isn’t about seeing how many big words you can fit into a page…but making sure those words fit.  I’m impressed if this is truly how you write, your vocabulary is amazing.  But jargon has its place, mostly in textbooks and “how to” manuals…not in the arts.  I may be being hard, but felt as though you were speaking down to your audience.  If it were me, I might think about replacing a few words.  For instance, why say “fecundity” when you could use “productivity, fruitfulness, or abundancy” all great alternatives that still have a classy ring.  Just my opinion.  Great start to a poem with lots of potential. =)

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ElCocaine avatar

ElCocaine

Age: 19
Loc: Farmington, ME
Gen: M
Last Login: April 13
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