Poetry / Untitled

Ok Im beginning to get the feeling that this is what everyone is writing in the socalled “poetry” section. And do you know what that is?

Nothing. This is NOT poetry. It might have meaning to you, thats great, but its not poetry, and Ive only given it 1 out of 10 because there is no zero.

Frankly I think I might write a poem about how arrogant these people are that they actually think theyre poets. Thats like an ape calling themselves a mathematician. If I just write whatevers on my mind, in plain English with no attempt at making a Poem, then I  do Not submit it as poetry!! And I certainly dont expect it to get anything other than a grilling in a poets community.

This has emotions to it.. But it’s just not descriptive.. I was expecting higher use of vocabulary.. Commanding your words into a brush and letting it paint a picture for me. You should have made it a bit longer to fully explain the point you’re trying to get across.. Although I have read short poems, shorter than this and they were fantastic. It was just a cliche poem, I knew exactly what you’ll try to rhyme with and when.. I’m guessing you’re new to poetry? Here is how you could have bettered it..

“I sit in the lunchroom full of faces, that exclude me.
The joy and laughter I trade not among them.
Yet for them it’s natural and genuine.
Will this bothersome emotion ever faint?
This question duplicates itself regularly.”

That’s just some helpful advice on to help you with this poem.

The words are there but there is no emotion behind them. Why do you feel this way, what triggered this revelation? And if you really do feel that empty inside, you should talkl to someone about it. but i digress, as far as the poem goes, the flow and rhythm are there but i dont feel the emotion behind it. good luck and happy writing!

Well I used to sit by you and talk a little. Until you started stalking me XD joking. Yeah I used to be like that too, remember?

Emo.  I felt so sorry for you that I stopped caring.  I related and remember sitting quitely in many a lunchrooms… but come on man, does it really deserve a poor me poem?  

Unless this is humor…. in which case… AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  Just in case I’m rating high.

Sorry for saying that if it isn’t humor.

G.T. Roe

sometimes i wonder the same thing. only i think i’d rather be alone than not. people get on my nerves most times ‘cept for my one friend. but i liked this.

Each bit of this poem is simply the feeling of being alone. As readers we want to have descriptions, we want to be enveloped in the scene, we don’t get that here. As readers we want to escape the world in which we live, so that for a few brief moments of relief, we can live in yours. You need to start giving much more detail, much more setting/surrounding explanation, and much more emotional detail. Basically my review is all about the detail. More. Make us feel exactly what your feeling by giving us specific descriptions of how it makes you feel. Describe everything, from the way the sun looks coming through the plexi-glass windows of the cafeteria, to the way the ketchup looks on the persons shoe next to you. From how the week-old chicken smells that they’re serving, to the way you start to giggle as you watch the freshman eating that crap. Just give us something! This has the idea to be a great poem, just put it there. Give us metaphors, similes, SOMETHINGGGG! Well, I’m really not trying to be mean with this review, I simply see that you have the emotional reactions needed to be a poet, and trying to help you put them onto paper. Best of luck, I look forward to reading more of you future work.