Poetry / Papel / Paper

Papel

No quiero enfrentar este papel
pared de mi imaginacion
vitrina, entrada y dintel
al mundo de mi emocion.

Quiero escaper de la carcel
que corroe mi Corazon.
Miserable pedazo de papel
convertido en prision.

Es libertad lo que quiero,
Libertad para volar.
Mil veces la prefiero
que en papel yo quedar.

TRANSLATION

Paper

I don’t want to face this paper
wall to my imagination
window, entrance and frame
to the world of my emotions.

I want to escape the jail
that corrodes my heart.
Miserable piece of paper
has become my prison.

It is freedom I want,
Freedom to fly.
A thousand times better
than in this paper to remain.

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herpen avatar General Stranger

November 14, 2006

herpen

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herpen reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

perhaps a paper
aeroplane..or birds to take flight yes?

jungsnkim avatar General Stranger

November 18, 2006

jungsnkim

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jungsnkim reviewed Version 2 - Read 100%% of the Item

Well, this is a great poem, however the last stanzas fizzles out with all the great imagery and passion in the first two stanzas.  It’s short and effective with a lot of emotion.  

wall to my imagination
window, entrance and frame
(That’s absolute.)  

That last line has me crinkling my nose, would you think of changing it? I bet it sounds much better in Spanish.

Kitt avatar General Stranger

November 30, 2006

Kitt

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Kitt reviewed Version 3 - Read 100%% of the Item

Oh yeah like this one. Its a common thought whether it is pleasurable to write or the fact that you are chained to the process and merely a slave to the words. Love the imagery clear and concise. Very well written like this one alot.

aquaisis avatar General Stranger

July 24, 2007

aquaisis

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aquaisis reviewed Version 3 - Read 100%% of the Item
This 34 word review has not been unlocked.

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Mr_O avatar

Mr_O

Age: 47
Loc: Oswego, IL
Gen: M
Last Login: April 19
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