Medishka…love the comment you added…your correct….a lil laughter goes a long way…and no worries…no SPAM ! :)
Poetry / Don't Give Me Any More Of That Damn Spam
Well the autumn day was hazy
I was feeling tired and lazy
When my stomach got a hankering for ham
But I checked inside my cupboard
And like good Old Mother Hubbard
It was empty – but for seven cans of spam.
Well I pondered for a second
Then aloud, I said I reckoned
That I’d try it though it didn’t look so great.
But I sliced it thick and fried it
Watched the grizzle cook inside it
And I placed the thing upon a paper plate.
It was brown around the edges
But the center of the wedges
Came alive like soft-set pudding in a pie
Then it soon began to wiggle
And I swear I heard it giggle
As I pierced it and it squirted in my eye.
Well I took it to the table
Just to see if I was able
To defeat this thing that jiggled on my plate
But I’d have to have been plastered
Just to TASTE the little bastard
So I thought I’d serve it later – to my date.
Well the doorbell rang at seven
And my darling boyfriend Devan
Smiled sweetly with a hearty “Howdy Mam”
He went quickly to the kitchen -
I was glad cause I was itchin’
To present him with the undulating Spam.
He at first took just a nibble
Then his mouth began to dribble
As his eyes began to fill with tears of joy
He devoured all that matter
That was sitting on the platter
So I praised him saying “Good job, atta boy”.
Well he hung around til morning
And without a word of warning
I advised him that our love was nearing death
Now I’m really gonna miss him
Cause I’d never ever kiss him
With the rancid smell of spam upon his breath.
There’s a moral to this story
And I hope it’s not too gorey
But I have to say, no ifs or ands or buts
Read the lable if you’re able
Then don’t take it to the table
If you know for sure it’s made of chicken guts
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Princess reviewed Version 1 -
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David_Sylver reviewed Version 1 -
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Yet again I’m reviewing a piece solely on the basis that I would find it very difficult to write this kind of material myself. I like this kind of prose as it is upbeat, witty, charming and without pretension or the darkness that can become a bit overbearing in most modern poetry (and yes I do include myself in that lol). I also like the way the piece is clear with intent, logical and tells a story. Good work and keep writing.
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Patience_is_a_virtue reviewed Version 1 -
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hahahahaha lol. man this was definitely beyond amusing. i felt like i should have had a banjo, strumming along, tapping my foot to the beat, chewing on piece of straw, as i sang this in an country voice. nicely done.
DaeraDawn reviewed Version 1 -
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lol this is great. and i like the rhyme and meter and jst the general topic of it all.
HopefulNebula reviewed Version 1 -
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You made me laugh. Quite a lot.
And the title has me thinking of “Don’t give me none more of that old Janx Spirit.”
If this were at all serious, I might nitpick it, but I like it as it is: a giggle and a diversion.
November 14, 2005
Deleted User
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may betty crocker have mercy on you! that was pretty amusing. i never thought i’d laugh about spam. not much of an end rhyme fan ordinarily, but it was the perfect style for the subject.
Paycojoe reviewed Version 1 -
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I would have given this piece an even higher score, had that been an option.Yes I am old enough to understand the humor of spam. This poem made me “Laugh Out Loud”
It is a real pleasure to read something from some one who truly knows how to have FUN with words. No thank you!:)
unwinding reviewed Version 1 -
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singerdea reviewed Version 1 -
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I really found your poem very humourous, but it was still very well written. I also really like the flow of the poem, as well.
November 10, 2005
Deleted User
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OMG this is hillarious…i laughed so hard while reading…very comical and clever…it has such a great flow…it just rolls of your tongue (much like a bite of spam might). lol… eww I hate spam…so nasty…I am seriously amused…thanx for sharing… :)
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