Poetry / Death's Tango

This is an excellent start and very creatively written.  I enjoyed reading it.  The concept of this poem is very innovative and I feel it has a lot of potential and can be taken even further.

You’ve already established your use of Death as an allegory and I think that is very deliberate and effective.  The personification can be take to the next level by referring to Death not as “it” but as “he” or even “she”.  That would help to add a level of humanity to your piece and it would allow the reader to become invested in the speaker’s plight.

For a piece that involves so much fantasy and suspended belief, it’s strange for it to read so literally.  ”Someone is taken from me”, “stays with me” ... phrases like that are very explicit plot statements.  The great thing about poetry is that you have that poetic license to say things with a bit more finesse and freedom.

This is an entertaining piece. Great start.

You should feel proud of this work, very well written in my estimation.  I found it a bit depressing though that you created this after watching two people tango and that their love would fade.  All love does not fade.  I didn’t quite understand the concept of death and the Tango.  Do you think that you could have been a bit clearer with the concept of death as it relates to love or death as it relates to the death of the body ?  I did appreciate your writing and will search you out more.

wow. this is a great poem. I like the whole “dance with death” concept. you should be proud of this.