Thank you very much and you are absolutely correct all the poems I write come from deep within me.
Poetry / Perpetual Sin
I am a leaf in the paradise,
No fear, no vice,
I thank you for your kindness and bitter sweet,
For in your window made of broken glass, sit here in defeat,
I have fought all my life, to get to where I started from,
And when I look back my images in the past have gone,
Still here in this useless time of no more,
And for more than once, I am bored,
Within me I feel a force trying to get out,
The constant scream of words, ends to shout,
Bring me into your space tell me welcome in,
As I hide from my shadow, covered ears from the din,
Cant you see the map of our future’s path,
Show me the sum of all of our math’s,
Enter the ring of fire,
As I smell your sweet hurtful desire,
Tread on my soul, leave it lying in the dirt,
As to the devil’s disciples you flirt,
As hell has a space for your deep depressive mire,
As I fall away from your grace, hell burnt in fire,
Challenge me for I stand in your way,
I don’t care the words you have to say,
I refuse to move, clearly you cannot win,
For I am the immortal, the ever more in sin…
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angelbytheocean reviewed Version 1 -
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This was a very moving poem. Poetry has meanings that are emotional and alive. They touch each individual who read them in a different way.
This is precise and links the meaning from beginning to end. Well written and I didn’t find any grammar errors.
Thanks for sharing “Perpetual Sin”
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ratruth reviewed Version 1 -
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TIGHT….i really felt this piece….been 2 the place where this poem takes you…..emotional….deep!!!
this work is all feeling!!!!!!!!!!
keep up with writing from the heart…please!
DarkAngel reviewed Version 1 -
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I thought the poem started out slow up until the words…As I smell your sweet hurtful desire,
Tread on my soul, leave it lying in the dirt,
As to the devil’s disciples you flirt,
As hell has a space for your deep depressive mire,
As I fall away from your grace, hell burnt in fire,
Challenge me for I stand in your way,
I don’t care the words you have to say,
I refuse to move, clearly you cannot win,
For I am the immortal, the ever more in sin…
I felt the words strongly, like you were letting go, feeling your own words, and exploring them on a more intimate level.
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