hi poet_devine. yes, that’s me. i kinda wish you hadn’t posted the link though, but ah well lol. thank you for the compliment ;).
Romance / Eternal Dreamland
sometimes he finds her in her dreams…with those inevitable fingertips dipped in red chaos. he touches her core, stains her with that dug-up bitter love. then she feels again…feels so deeply…that carnal magic that makes desolation disappear, remembering nocturnal paradise in his sparkling black eyes…luna’s moon in his mouth. fantasy so full of promise, like a night angel’s star dust…
an endless cosmic cycle between them.
......................................
moonwaves on his tongue lit up the love in her kiss
and the echoes of passion rang his cells awake
resurrecting hope
............................................
somewhere…everything glitters magnificently, and they don’t have to be asleep to see it…
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
December 12, 2006
Deleted User
Review of Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
Wow this is very beautiful! I can understand how you feel. I too find myself a victim who is always wondering and sometimes dreaming about a past love. Its hard but true, dreams bring happiness but once awoken, it all hurts! I love this especially because I can relate! Plus I love the words used and how you describe everything! Great work I loved it! =-)
- add/view comments (1)
Poet_deVine reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
karmakord.deviantart.com/
Is this you also? If so, you have an amazing talent. If not, there’s a copyright infringement issue between the two of you.
richardagnew reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
This 112 word review has not been unlocked.
December 07, 2006
Deleted User
Review of Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
This one was hard for me to follow. Maybe i need to expand my imagination. Or maybe i need to find a lover like you had so i can get a better more literal feel of it. It does leave me wondering if some of the words are more literal or metaphoric. I don’t know if “metaphoric” is even a real word, so that just goes to show how much i know. I did feel something erotic going on while readin it. As far as reaching your goal, I think everyone should make a book of their own writings. Although mine would probably never get read.
PuppetGirl reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
A nice segment, but it might be better if you added more at the beginning.
deliciousms reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
i’ve read about 5 poems so far
urs is tha only 1 i liked enuff 2 comment
tha middle trips me up a little but tha begining & the end i really really liked
SanityDreamer reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
Okay, I love the imagery you have here, such as with the line ‘with those inevitable fingertips dipped in red chaos’. Simply beautiful.
But there’s not enough posted to establish exactly what you are trying to convey. It’s beautiful imagery and I have no problem with the grammer, I find it fitting with what little bit I’ve esablished with the character, but I would definitely love to see more. Give me a point, a destination you will. I get the dream aspect, but I was left wondering ‘is that it?’ and ‘where’s the rest’.
Good luck with you’re writing!
humbledhands reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
I am left wondering if this is a daydream or a person asleep. It does catch me though, as I am sure we have all experienced a wanting to be back with or remember being with a past love, and what the thoughts can do to you. It gives me a feel of a burning passion left for someone…almost drenched in lust dripping with orgasm…reading this really stirred my thoughts.
Showing 1 - 8 of 8
Review item
Add to favesCreator
Relevant Links
Item Stats
GENERAL
8 Reviews 8 Comments
Version 1
Latest Activity: 5 months ago
REVIEW QUEUE
Appeared in Queue: 0 Times
Skipped: 0 Times
Ratings & Rankings
