Non-fiction / Valentine

we drove to the riverfront, parked near the trees. our presence in sync with the sunset…beauty in the breakdown. there were brilliant hues of salmon pink and fire gold tonguing the sun goodbye…a sky sorbet so aesthetically sweet with its colorful waves; made me wanna lick celestial dreams for hours. fascinated with the sky…wishing we could fuck on the prettiest biggest cloud, wishing we could fly…if only for a little while- a day…or lifetime.
when nightfall came…couples strolling the delaware pulled their scarves and lovers tighter. we cracked our windows cause we dig cold air, listened to a tribe called quest cause we dig good music. we heavy-petted to “bonita applebum”...hard nipples, unbuckled leather belts. horny hedonists…turned on by lust and hip-hop jazz. we didn’t end up sexing there in the car though; the lack of room would’ve cramped our style. we decided to go back to his place…and in a real hurry. got a little intoxicated off greygoose and juice, which made me nice and tingly…and soon i found myself in an oddly sweet daze as he stabbed my warm box repeatedly, like he was punishing it for feeling so good. and i crashed there overnight, dreamt about shiny red gems pouring from the sky, those lovestones drenching any doubt in my mind…that with him was where i needed to be…

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mstreet avatar General Friend

December 07, 2006

mstreet

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats
mstreet reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

I really like the descriptions in your writing.  Excellent use that makes the reader feel like they are there.  The topic is quite exciting as well.  I don’t believe that your lack of puncuation throws the reader off.  Your flow of language prevents that from happening.  Great work.

Ocean_Avenue16 avatar General Friend

December 04, 2006

Ocean_Avenue16

REVIEW QUALITY: 0.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats
Ocean_Avenue16 reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

He he. Delete this if you want to I was just saying that it’s very modern/one nighter kinda theme.

Travis_Tee avatar General Stranger

December 04, 2006

Travis_Tee

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats
Travis_Tee reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

I think it’s rad that you don’t sugar coat things and you don’t stray away from the “taboo”. Your writing makes me feel like I’m not the lone ranger so much anymore.

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choppyluvlust avatar

choppyluvlust

Age: 27
Loc: Willingboro, NJ
Gen: F
Last Login: May 15
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