Listen darling all your comments are greeted with joy, for one , you read my stuff, for two you reveiw the fuckers and for three. I like your reveiws, so you can’t loose.Mucho gracias, amigo.
Lyrics / THE REALLY,REALLY LATE NIGHT PHONER.
I don’t know what time it happened,
or how I got to this state.
But my head keeps reeling telephone numbers
I want to call even though I know it’s far to late.
But I’m scary,
I`m boring
i’m really drunk,
and I can’t stop talking
because!!!!!!!
I’m the(THE REALLY ,REALLY LATE NIGHT PHONER.)
Your just slipping into sweet coma sleep,
it’s been a hard week pillow soft and deep.
Forgetting the the things on your mind,,,
DRIFTING,,, DROWSING,,,DREAMING,,, DROWNING zzzzzz
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING, RING,RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING, RING.
Who the fuck?, Who the hell is that?.
“HELLO, HELLO”
“Hi babes its only me, I hope its not too late?”
BUT!!
I’m scary,
I’m boring,
I’m totally plastered,
and i can’t stop talking.
Because,
IM THE REALLY,REALLY LATE NIGHT PHONER.
(I love you.)
Just finished an argument with your boyfriend
that lasted most of the night,just making up,
in bed, entwined with passion delight.
THEN…....
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING,RING,RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING,RING.
WHO THE FUCK??????
I’m scary,
I’m boring,
It’s late,
and you snoring,
but who cares.
Because!!!!
IM THE REALLY,REALLY LATE NIGHT PHONER
(D’you love me?.)
You’ve just been hired for a fantastic new job,
an early night tucked up in your bed.
Floating into apprehensive sleep,
quilt cocooned,feathers cheap.
Excited but worried about the knew day ahead.
Eyes closing,lids heavy,lead.
THEN!!!!!!!!!
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG,RING, RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING,RING.
What?Who?Time?What’s the time?Wheres my watch?Wheres the phone?
“HELLO,HELLO”
“It’s alright babe It’s only me!!!”
I’m scary,
I’m boring,
I’m really pissed,
and I won’t stop talking.
Because!!!!!!
I’m the one,
the lonely,
THE REALLY REALLY LATE NIGHT PHONER,
(I love you!!!)
Turn your phones off,
change your number.
If you want to escape,
THE REALLY REALLY LATE NIGHT PHONER.
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Iveloadedmygun reviewed Version 2 -
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it was interesting. I have yet to hear a song about this..
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nelson1 reviewed Version 2 -
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LOl, you’ve still got a capital habit, Its better with the swearing written too. (remember the singer wont have your lyrics in front of him/her)and the public won’t see them when its a song.
The last line in verse 1 could be re worded to keep the beat of the rest of the song, maybe cut it to ,I want to call even when its too late.
It still makes me chuckle
nelson1 reviewed Version 1 -
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I loved this, it made me laugh. I could picture both the phoner and the sleeper.
This is one of those cases where you need to swear to create effect. Dont be afraid to write them as sworn.
I’ve been the phoner but only occasionally.
In verse one the last line seems too long.
To me this needs to be re-read by the creator and typed with better presentation in mind.
I think people would love this.
richardagnew reviewed Version 1 -
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I like this!! It’s so true, and I think we’ve all been there, but the first step (which you have already taken) is admitting that you have a problem, haha, so well done!! I also wondered if you have ever heard of HarMar Superstar? He has a song called D.U.I (Dialing Under the Influence) it’s great!!! The only advice I can give you for this piece is that you have used “Your” a couple of times when it should have been “You’re” is in “You are”, but apart from that I like this!
Drake_Lightle reviewed Version 1 -
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This was an interesting concept. But the all capitalization was incredibly annoying and detracts from the words themselves. Also, just go ahead and spell out fuck and pissed. If you are making the allusion, why are you censoring. It reads like non-sense with that kind of shit.
The strenght of your poem, beyond the inspired thought, was the RIIIIIING RIIIIING. That kind of word poetic device almost saved your poem…but not quite. The all caps pretty much killed it.
Jaredwrites reviewed Version 1 -
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It took me a minute to get into this piece. The intro stanza didn’t really seem to have any rhythm that was grasping me. Then I wasn’t too sure about the chorus the first time I read it. But by the time I got to the end, the chorus seemed good and was chiming in my head. The rhythm and the whole piece picked up when you got to that first stanza when you started rhyming. Suddenly there seemed to be a pretty good sense of song to this. It really sounded musical in my head as I was reading. Go back and clean up the little mistakes like to instead of too. I don’t think there is any need not to just write the cuss words out. Overall, I enjoyed. Perhaps play with that opening a bit and when you jump into the chorus and it differs, you could relate it back to its specific verse. Like you say it’s late and your snoring after the getting it on with the significant other verse. It would be better to go with something like it’s late and your scoring at that point. Just something to ponder as you play with this piece. Thanks for the read and I hope to read more.
Goddess2006 reviewed Version 1 -
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FUNNY!! LOL!! Bad news: some spelling, technical issues, but hey, you’re drunken dialing, so I forgive you. Sounds like a song. Good job!
teddybear818 reviewed Version 1 -
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This is so funny, but true. The note that you left for reviewer’s, still has me crackin’ up. Do you have a beat or soundtrack for this yet? I hope that you dont relapse, i’ve been there too many times with my ex and some friends. I need my rest. I do understand lonliness, and the many emotions attached to it. Have you tried sleeping pills, they have some nice new things on the market- you’ve seen the commercials, you might wind up with a runny booty from the side effects, lol. Very good piece. Good Luck
Teddy
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