Poetry / Crimson Light

Crimson Light
by  Ericka

Beneath the light of a crimson moon,
A tiger lily weeps.
Her silver teardrops fall in silence.
And the sorrow remains.
Wasting her sobs, she cries for rain.
Rain will not return.
The rising sun attempts to dry her tears.
Her world is darkness.
Her tears reflect the sun, burning her petals.
She feels nothing.
The moon returns and weeps tears of red.
He knows her pain.
For he once loved one who could not be his.
Her name was sun.
So beautiful he thought she was, though he couldn’t be sure.
He never knew her.
Glimpses of her glory that remained after she departed,
Was all he saw.
And yet she held his heart and carried it away.
She never knew.
Sun and Moon, Lily and Rain, two loves that can never be.
Moon called to lily,
“My light may be crimson, but it still dispels the gloom.”
Lily only nodded.
Moon continued, “Do not weep for one who’s lost.”
Lily dried her tears.
“Come, share the darkness with me,” Moon asked.
Then lily smiled.
The sun shone, and the rain fell, but in the night,
Moon and Lily had each other.

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libertine avatar General Stranger

December 19, 2006

libertine

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libertine reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

Sun and Moon, Lily and Rain , two loves that can never be. I adore that line , its beautiful. The flow of this is really very good and I never once felt I wanted to skip anything as I have often felt , It interested me and pulled me through till the very.The one line I might alter is “So beautiful he thought she was, though he couldn’t be sure.”
to perhaps “So beautiful was she he thought, though he couldn’t be sure” purely because it is just a more pleasing way to hear the line when spoken out loud.

alias72 avatar General Stranger

December 17, 2006

alias72

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alias72 reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

This is beautiful.  Such a clever allegory for unrequited love.    

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ErickaBlack avatar

ErickaBlack

Age: 20
Loc: Newton, UT
Gen: F
Last Login: November 25
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