Poetry / And it all passes away...

Vok beisha knockwin is what they’ll say,
About this era that has passed away,
As their archaeologists dig deep in the sands of time,
You’ll have passed away from this world divine.

Vok beisha knockwin, their wise one’s will tout,
When they find the metal trains and other artifacts strewn about,
Vok beisha knockwin, hota ka lee,
Vok beisha knockwin, can’t you see?

Buried is our world and they’re digging up our lives,
Deeper, deeper, striking every bone of mankind,
Vok Beisha Knockwin, hota ka lee,
Raka ha kneeka, Maybe now you’ll see,

This civilization in which we live is only temporary,
Why then do you aim your steel,
At another man,
I appeal, I appeal,

Before we’re buried in the sands of time,
Let’s climb, let’s climb…
And eat the fruits of pleasure and peace,
Put down your weapon’s and let’s live free,

Vok beisha knockwin, hota ka lee,
Vok beisha knockwin,
I see, I see.

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gbryananderson avatar General Stranger

January 09, 2007

gbryananderson

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats
gbryananderson reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

mechanics only

intricate use of words, excellent

condense longer lines

make appearance even

more imagery

thank you excellent poem

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ShiningRain avatar

ShiningRain

Age: 26
Loc: Union, MO
Gen: F
Last Login: January 05
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