Poetry / The Disintegration
He leans in to kiss her,
she turns
and it lands in that space
Between cheek and lips.
She smiles to hide the screaming inside.
Read her mind and you will hear
how she hates this.
They dance around each other
like clumsy idiots or
new dance students stepping on each others toes.
They both feel it but dare not say it.
To speak it out loud would make it real,
give it life.
Like water on a parched plant,
it would begin to bloom and grow into a reality.
He leans in to hold her,
she turns,
but inside it has begun…
the disintegration.
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I don’t see the relationship of this to “Secrets” except stylistically. In both cases you tell us the interal feelings or experiences the narrator is feeling or thinking and yet nothing ever really happens, it’s all so very existential and not concrete. He doesn’t kiss her and miss, he leans in to kiss and when she turns what lands? His shoulder? What is it? You only tell us she is screaming inside. There’s nothing to demonstrate or justify why she is doing this. I have only your word on this, I can’t identify or have no empathy for this character. What dare they not say? Everything is so illusive you have given no details to which to hold onto. We need to see something, to grab hold on to something. Why is all this happening? That would make quite a poem!!!
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