Poetry / Us Writers

Amelia.
Is right next to me.
On my bed.
Not naked,
clothed,
writing
in her journal
probably about the events happening right now.
Quaint isn’t it:
us writers loving each other so.

Our words coming out in unison.
Verbs, nouns, adjectives making fervent love to one another;
adverbs finding their verbs, modifying each other into ardent glee.

Pen depressions matching key strokes.

You left.  Now I am left,
alone,
with just my keyboard
and my imagination.
I could create false memories of us,
but I won’t; I like the real ones.
I like their imperfections even.
Our fights, fears, and falsehoods fuel my prose and poetry.
A creation of a false memory would sully
not only us,
but this.

You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.

Reviews

Sort Reviews by  Newest |  Oldest |  Highest Quality |  Lowest Quality |  Newest Comments | 

 
white_rabbit avatar General Friend

January 12, 2007

white_rabbit

personal info reviewer stats
white_rabbit reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

I like how you got really personal without making a big deal about it.

It’s not full of ridiculous sentiments, I mean.
Kudos!

whiteGreen avatar General Friend

January 09, 2007

whiteGreen

personal info reviewer stats
whiteGreen reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

Good job with this one. I will say though that i got a little thrown out of the flow of things when i read “You left.  Now I am left,
alone,
with just my keyboard
and my imagination.”

Its got good meaning but i felt like the words stumbled over each other a little bit. Kind of like traffic, your still moving but not as well.

Then you pulled it back together and it ended on a good note.

Showing 1 - 2 of 2

Creator
fireballems avatar

fireballems

Age: 20
Loc: Pittsburgh, PA
Gen: M
Last Login: September 22
Relevant Links
Item Stats

GENERAL

2 Reviews 1 Comment
Version 1
Latest Activity: about 1 year ago

REVIEW QUEUE

Appeared in Queue: 0 Times
Skipped: 0 Times
Large_criteria Ratings & Rankings
Versions
Version 2
Version 1
Tags

There are no tags for this item.