Poetry / Death of a Rose

No longer bowing to the wind’s invisible majesty

This is lovely…I like this line…it is visual in metaphor, yet we can still understand what it means, (which is how poetry should be) especially with the use of the word majesty at the end…which signifies, power, or “rule”...This is what poetry is supposed to do…it looks simple, yet effortlessly shows complexity…It’s a short piece…and it doesn’t need to to be longer…You say a lot in only nine lines…Which is another thing about poetry that is short…you have to have it be elaborate still, with visuals, senses…etc…you show, not tell…which is what you’re supposed to do, like telling a story…I like how at the end, you say,

As the dust settles all that is left is me
The birth of a new era of beauty
Subtle, yet everlasting

I don’t know if you intended this meaning…but this goes with the idea of the rose, it’s deception…what is considered beauty…the rose is a deceiving flower…lovely to view, yet, must be approached tenderly…with caution…the rose’s meaning is what counts…just as the human…on the inside, their meaning is what counts…this is what I got from this piece…It’s nice…There is no punctuation…I don’t know if you want it or not, technically, I don’t see how it could be wrong if you left it this way…Write what you want…It’s a nice piece…If you decide that you’re not satisfied with it, then reworking it will only make it get better…Good luck to you…:-)

Rosie

If I may, a short revise or style change:

A rose beaten            There is more emphasis on the simplicity of a flower
sweltered by the sun     with short strong descriptions.  It is about love and
Leaves tattered          pain so let it read like a prick of the finger, pull
by thorn torn hands      the reader in quick and then poke and let go.  Other
Laid in ruined ashes     wise it is a bit more generic like other love/rose
to dance no more         poems.  To each his own though and this covers all
in the glow of the moon  the basics of a rose and her beauty.  
No longer bowing to the wind            Guess it reminds me of my own work but
an invisible majesty                    I was a wildflower going through the
A rose’s fragrance no longer            same motions.  
lingering its perfume
As the dust settles
all that is left is me
The birth of a new era of
beauty
Subtle,
yet
everlasting

Nice poem but the word Lingering  before it’s perfume needs an aphostrophe and also the word lingering doesn’t sound correct here. Offering or leaving might sound better.

In the first line of this poem you use the word weltered which means a confused mass. It would be better to use wilted which means to become limp or flaccid; droop:plants wilting in the heat. I think that would fit better considering the message of the poem is death. Other than that the imagery used is good and this poem is easy to understand. The way you touch on the fact that though the rose dies another will take it’s place is an uplifting part of this piece.

Very vivid imagination.  I could actually see a rose withering and dying, however, I couldn’t get a flow or rythem out of the poem.  Could just be me, but I think the rythem part needs some work.  

Very touching.  I read this because the title grabbed my attention, but the lines of the poem are what kept me reading.  Good job.