Poetry / Accretion

It gives me the feeling of pieces of a dying star colliding with the earth (maybe a meteor expelled from a black hole)...non the less, illiteration that pulls in the reader making them read it over and over, deciphering what thought is expressed here.
  I picture the population of earth dying from global warming combined with the change within space that is always a danger to the survival of mankind and earth. Astronomical!

“sending signals
around
Sending pain found” – I really like the way these lines sound. The poem has a good descriptive quality and is very detailed, but I’m not sure what is driving the poem. The blood metaphor is strong. What else do you want readers to think/feel when reading this?

Write what you know. As an abstract your use of theoretical physics works as a metaphor- if you’re not up on the cutting edge theories. I kept getting tripped up on the caught up technical misuse of the terms, unless you were purposely being contrary.
In general the sense come through.
The form is choppy at times; that adds to the tone but is a bit distracting at times.
Overall it’s a good start, but it’s trying to be more abstract than it is. Maybe use terms that are still distant and alien like space but more familiar to you as a writer.

The longer, more complex, and foreign words, broken up intermittently by single-word phrases are a bit harsh to navigate through. It sounds good in the head, if a bit.. confusing, but on the tongue it’s a garbled mess.

Try finding a way to better the flow—Just lose a couple of those one-word lines, and you’ll be good.

really cool! it totally didn’t make anysense until the end, then it all fell together. i love it when that happens. i only suggest that, to make the end a little more clear, maybe separate those last couple of phrases. maybe put a question mark after “to remain”

Nice job for your first poem. Were you in science class by any chance when you wrote this?  I really like  the concept of a poem featuring science in it but this just doesn’t flow quite right.  The rythm is a bit too choppy. your could read it aloud and see how it sounds yourself.  It could be made into more of a prose than poetry very easily.  It would probably be better sounding as an ode to scientific matters…I don’t know….but prose would sound better than poetry at this point.  Good effort on your first try at it though, you’ll improve with time and practice!

This seems to be directed more at those who know science. Maybe I did not understand this as well because I do not know much more than the basic science, so I am wondering if others may find this bit confusing. From what I deduced however, this s a really awesome poem.
I would break it up more however. Make it more abrupt to go with how it seems to flow in some parts.

I think it’s ok. I’m not one of those people that can understand really big words like Nebulaplasm. So that was confusing. I’m not saying that you should change it, but maybe there should be a sort of.. glossary thing. That tells people, who don’t work well with big words, what the big words mean. other than that big word though, I think that you did a very good job.

Nice. I like the juxtapositioning of the stellar activity with the personal activity. Really feeds into my love of science fiction! Missing, tho in the second stanza is a clear connection with the human stuff. Unles the line “activating actions” is it…unfortunately, I had no idea what you meant in that line.
I’d like to see this again after a little rework.

I really like the setting that this places you in. It gives a very good sense of visualization and understanding.